Transparency
There are 31 days left of this incredible journey I’ve found myself on. With that many days left, I need to stop and look back on the word I just used to describe this adventure.
Incredible
Surely the World Race has been incredible in many ways. I have shared story after story of the people I’ve encountered, random predicaments I’ve found myself in, and of personal growth I could’ve never seen coming. I’ve shared pretty much all there is to share about the Race and all about myself. I’ve learned to be honest about myself and my problems. But I’m wondering now if I’ve always been completely honest with all of you.
I’ve had some great conversations with my dude Josh out here about the “real” World Race. About how, we rarely show a glimpse to everyone out there in the “real world” of our everyday experiences on the field.
One misconception about the World Race you should know is:
Every day is NOT an adventure.
In some countries more so than others, every day DID feel like an adventure, like I had to focus on getting through each day as the Lord provided me the strength to do so. I’d have some rad run-ins with locals or feel amazingly accomplished with ministry whether it was scheduled or not. During those times, you feel so high up on the mountain’s peak. Then in the upcoming month, you can feel completely thrown down into the lowest valley, feeling underutilized and lost in the shuffle.
I look back on certain places on my route with insanely fond memories with story after story of cultural experiences and Holy Spirit breakthroughs for days! Then on the other hand, there’s some places I look back on and I can only remember how our days were consumed with sitting on wifi and watching movies on our laptops all day. This could be a personal choice to choose “me-time” over ministry time. But, it could also not be a choice at all, having only an hour of “ministry” in the day and the rest of the time to figure out to occupy your time the best way possible.
I have had more free time on my hands than I knew what to do with.
I have felt like I was lost.
I have felt like I wasn’t making much of a difference.
Lately, it’s been super hard to find the littlest bit of joy. But I’m thankful that I have a rad team right now that does a great job at finding joy in all circumstances:
And on the contrary, while on the topic of teams…
Another big lesson that you may see coming is this:
Your team is your family, and just like any family…
They just may get on your very last nerve.
I think I can safely speak for most everyone that we’ve all had our moments where we’ve just had enough of being around people.
Don’t get me wrong, my teams have all been awesome. But I’d be lying if I said it was always happy and perfect. For example, I felt super out of place when I switched teams Month 2 and I had all sorts of frustrations with them in how I didn’t feel like I belonged.
I’ve been mad
Frustrated
Bitter
Jealous
Annoyed
Offended
Hurt
Saddened
BUT IN BOTH THESE TRUTHS, THERE IS A SILVER LINING
You may not be praying for the sick, scaling mountains and waterfalls, spending time with kids, petting tigers, riding elephants, building houses, worshipping in the streets, or having other adventures every single day. They may only realistically make up a small percentage of your days. But when you have the days where you have lots of time on your hands:
THAT’S WHERE THE MINISTRY ON YOURSELF BEGINS
In those quiet moments (or not so quiet), you are forced to confront one of your biggest enemies:
Yourself.
No one wants to go home from the race as the same person they were when they first stepped off the plane in their first country.
Even though I found myself so beaten from days or months where our teams don’t have a lot of “ministry”, I’m reminded that there is still “ministry” to be done. God’s always stretching me to grow in areas or to root out habits that are not becoming of me. He’s challenging me to see my team as my ministry and feed into them, provoking them into deeper conversations to further stretch them in their walks.
AND ALL THOSE TIMES MY TEAMMATES GOT ON EVERY LAST NERVE?
Those moments opened up to the best heart to hearts I could have.
It took an insanely difficult conversation with my “Asia” team that led to reconciliation at the end of Vietnam, before we switched teams. Every person who I had felt those emotions towards, God provoked moments to be open and honest so that He could heal them and show me something I was too blind to notice about each of them (or how blind I was to my own ignorance).
So I write this to share these realities of the race because I want future racers to not be surprised when you thought you’d have a month full of outreach and you end up having 1 hour long ministry days and spend the rest of the afternoon keeping busy on your computer, catching up on episodes of all the new Fall TV shows, and playing various card games.
And again, The World Race has been incredible, and one of the craziest, most memorable years of my life. I’ve learned stuff about myself I’ve never noticed and seen God move in ways I have never seen before. I just don’t want to be displaying an image to everyone that is a cleaned up version, like a girl who puts on make-up over all her imperfections to show off the best version possible of herself before going out on the town.
But remember, of everything I’ve learned this year, the greatest lesson of all which I’ve learned is this:
The World Race is what YOU make it!
