I’m not forgotten
I think one thing that the world tries to tell us sometimes is that we’re not worth it.
We aren’t smart enough.
We aren’t pretty enough.
We aren’t funny enough.
We aren’t worthy enough.
We just plain aren’t wanted.
I’m sure every single one of us has felt like this at one place in time if we are honest with ourselves.
But the truth is:
You are worth it.
You are smart, pretty, funny, worthy, wanted, (insert whatever doubt you may have about yourself here).
I ramble about this with one theme from Southeast Asia on my mind that I learned from some very joyful people. Though this group of individuals may seem very surprising, but they’ve taught me an overwhelming amount about myself and the heart of God throughout the past 4 months. The little one’s I’m referring to are:
ORPHANS
I met Jacob in the Philippines. He was hanging out on the monkey bars (literally), and randomly started yelling. I was in the middle of playing soccer with a bunch of other young boys between the ages of 5 through 13. Let me back track real quick:
15 minutes prior to this impromptu soccer game, I was asked if I wanted to hang out with some kids. Well…honestly I didn’t feel like it. I had just arrived to this new town, in preparation to fly to Thailand in the morning and all I wanted to do was rest so bad! So of course….I said OK let’s go!
I had no idea where I was. I thought I was just hanging out with some kids at school to be honest.
So there I was, hanging out with this little guy on the monkey bars and held him for the next half hour.
As I held this little guy, I ran into the woman in charge of the place and found out the crazy truth: I was at an orphanage.
That reality hit me so hard.
This kid, 4 years old, was abandoned by his mother when he was only 9 months old. Father never in the picture. Mother “went to buy medication” one day and never came back. He’s been at the orphanage ever since.
As he latched onto me with his kung fu grip, I tried to put him down but he would not let me. He wanted to be accepted. He wanted to feel safe. He wanted to feel loved.
In only one hour, my heart broke for these boys. How could no one want these kids?!
So amazing in so many ways, and so joyful despite their circumstances. I’m super thankful for the individuals that run that orphanage who love those kids like their own. The impact that was made in but an hour, was monumental.
I think back to my street boys in the Philippines. Living on the streets with no where else to go, already in gangs and getting high by snorting solvents. I recall the first time we hung out with them and they were climbing all over me. All I could think of (if I’m being honest), was how bad they smelled. I was like, “dang I think this kid just crapped on me”.
Then the most crazy, sobering thought came to me:
“You are that orphan”
Huh? What was that?
“You are that orphan”
In those moments I have wandered and felt so alone, or unwanted; smelling horrible after all the wrong I’ve done and after the ways I’ve sinned; I’ve come to God smelling like crap and yet He still embraced me. He still accepted me and forgave me. He still chooses to love me.
I spent time at another orphanage a week ago in Vietnam and I was still reminded of what God told me that day.
“You are that orphan”
These little ones were insanely precious and SOOOOO full of life!
They had nothing and yet I had one little guy lead my by the hand to the dining hall for a meal, bring over a miniature chair for me, and offer me his food.
(Not gonna lie, I’m tearing up as I’m typing this).
He has so little and yet he’s offering to share all he has with me!
The same happened with our street boys in the Philippines!
They have nothing and they want to share…not only their food, but they want to share their LIVES with us.
We have everything and are unwilling to share some times. It may be our food, resources, or even just our time.
They band together and are a family for each other. Every face I met, was full of life whenever they had people showing love to them and spending time with them.
My encouragement to you reading is this:
Go out to the fatherless ones.
Go out to those who believe themselves as unwanted.
We can identify with those feelings at some level.
Sometimes it takes sharing and quality time to lift someone up and let them know they are important.
And know that even if someone is hard to love for whatever reason: God loved you first.
“But God shows his love for us in that WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS, CHRIST DIED FOR US.” ~ Romans 5:8
This is what I felt on my heart in Thailand, when I spent time reflecting on all my little friends I met who changed my life in the Philippines:
Kung Fu Death Lock
I was the orphan!
Hanging on the monkey bars
I was the orphan!
Brought down by scars
I made it one bar across
Realized all was lost
I began to bawl
At the fear of the fall
Open your hand to freely stand
Unbound, on solid ground
I was the orphan!
Not the other way around
I was the orphan!
Once lost, now I’m found
