As many of you may know I have a degree in Music Therapy; though many of you might not know that because I don’t talk about it often. Many people don’t even know that I played the clarinet since 4th grade, or that I can play the guitar and even some piano! Not only am I shy and not always confident in my playing but my internship was really draining. During my internship I was often told (like every other day) that I was not a good musician and that they could not believe my university would allow me to go onto my internship with such poor music skills. I tried to practice and I know that I was getting better; but it was still never good enough for them. Towards the end of my internship, they wanted to fail me, but praise God for my professor who fought on my behalf and they agreed to let me pass with a “D”. Initially, after my internship, I sort of wanted to try and be a music therapist depite the way my intersnhip made me feel. However, every time I picked up my guitar, tried to play the keyboard or even sing it felt like soo much work. Music wasn’t fun anymore, it wasn’t enjoyable, and it had become a chore. I just wanted a break. After months of looking for a job, I felt a peace about no longer applying for music therapy jobs. I really felt like God was asking me to put music therapy aside for a while; which is when Mooseheart came into the picture. I was super excited for this new chapter in my life.
As I embraced Mooseheart, and the idea of no longer being a music therapist, my bitterness towards music and playing continued to grow. I was still very hurt by the lies and the harsh criticsim that was spoken over me in California. I didn’t want to play for anyone because if they didn’t hear me play then they coudn’t judge my playing; heck, I didn’t even want to play for myself.
It has been about 2.5 years since my internship. Aside from playing for my kids at work and with Rob (a few times) I hardly touched my instruments. Rob had been very encouraging and loving with trying to help me play again but it just hurt soo much. For some reason, as I started to prepare for the race (since October) I had this idea in my head that I was going to bring a guitar with me. I can’t tell you why, logically it makes no sense, but I honestly believe it was God shispering to me. So before I left I started to play more, and actually enjoyed it! While I did not bring a guitar, my teammate Jeremiah did. Now I have Jeremiah helping me to love playing my guitar again; along with Rob.
So, here I’ve been in Azua, not only playing more for myself but teaching young women how to play as well! After 2 weeks of classes, we played at church this Sunday, and I wanted to share one of the videos with you!!
For my very musically inclined friends/family – yes, I know that the guitars are not entirely in tune. Don’t forget I’m in the dominican republic 🙂 But if you or anyone you know would like to donate money for guitars, strings, tuners, etc, please let me know!
