I hope this blog title caught your attention, because this is a pretty big announcement. Yes, the title is true, I’m coming home. In fact I’ll be home in about 24 hours. As I sit in the airport and my squad prepares for Guatemala, I am preparing for a different plan God has for my life. Now, you may be thinking “I thought the race was the plan God had for you.” Yeah, me too. Africa has been an overflowing three months of learning and growing in my intimacy with the Lord. I have been hearing His voice more and more clearly, and as John 15:5 says I am living in Him and He in me.
As soon as we got to Africa I felt closed in and trapped. We lived in a small house with 18 people and weren’t allowed to leave the gate very frequently due to safety reasonings, and also not having much around us. I found myself getting bored quickly and having panic attacks because we did the same thing every minute of every day. Wake up in the same four walls, sit around and stare at each other, go to ministry, come back to the same four walls and stare at each other again. I began to pray against the anxious and claustrophobic feelings and I immediately began to feel as if something inside me was pushing me home after Africa. I ignored it and forgot about it because it was about that time in the race where you miss your family and the things of home. About a week after I had a dream that my mom called AIM at the end of Africa and said “It’s time for Demi to come home now, she needs to be home.” and I still felt a strong pull in me to go home after Africa. I didn’t know why this kept happening so my friends prayed for me before going to bed. Without me knowing, Catie asked the Lord for clear dreams and visions that night to provide answers for me. She had a dream that I went home earlier than the rest of the squad, and when I got off the plane someone handed me a baby. Then Jesus appeared and said “You know what to do now.”
For God speaks in one way, and in two, though man does not perceive it. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on men, while they slumber in their beds
Job 33:14-15
The dreams made me finally say enough, and I sat down with the Lord every day and prayed about what He had for me. I prayed that He would clarify what the dreams meant, and that He would guide me in my next steps. For a couple weeks I got nothing, which led to frustration. I didn’t understand why God wouldn’t be speaking to me if all the dreams and feelings were truly from Him, so I began to seek advice and answers from family and friends. I told everyone about the specifics and ended it with “what do you think?” Of course it was hard for me not to be excited about the fact that God might be calling me home early. I missed home and wanted to get a pedicure and squeeze my dog again, but I felt guilty for feeling that excitement.
Jesus spoke a few things to me here and there. He said “Remember Azusa Now? Remember the man that prophecied over you about going to three nations? Well you’ve gone to three nations now.” But that wasn’t enough of an answer for me, I guess you could say I’m stubborn sometimes! One morning I decided to go in the back of the house and worship, just me and my sweet friend Jesus, and see what He had to say. As I laid there I felt the breeze blow through my hair and immediately knew it was God letting me know He was there with me. I decided to jump straight to the point and I said “God what am I supposed to do?” His response…. “If you are going to keep doubting and be unsure, then it is your choice. If you go home I have big plans for you, and if you go to Guatemala I have big plans for you.” Well awesome, that didn’t really help! Even though God spoke to me very clearly, I had no idea what choice to make.
About every three months we have this thing called debrief, which is a little less than a week “vacation”. It is a time for us to rest and refuel for more ministry. So, I went to debrief and tried to empty my mind and not be focused on wether or not I was supposed to go home or stay on the race. I spent the time visiting with friends and laying in the sun. Although, I did inform my squad mentor on what was going on so she could begin praying with me. As soon as we got back to our ministry site I went back to praying about what God had planned for me. One day God practically took me by the shoulders and shook me, saying “Why are you still questioning me? I’ve given you your answer to go home!” And I fought back with “Then why am I excited about going home for worldly things and not the plans you have?” And God came back with the best response like always, “Because all you know are the things of the world, I am the only one that knows my plan, but when my plan is revealed, then that is where your excitement will be.”
I’m coming home, in fact, by the time you’re reading this I will probably be on American soil! I am ecstatic and can’t wait to see friends and family again and share stories. I don’t know a whole lot of what the Heavenly Father has planned yet, but I do know this…He has given me a heart for women, particularly those who are or have been trafficked, and simultaneously He has given my mom that same heart. God has been speaking to each of us a lot about R.U.N (Rise Up Now). Rise Up Now is an organization dedicated to teaching, supporting and encouraging women to rise up in the calling God has placed on her life; to see her walk from bondage and in the fullness and power of the Holy Spirit; to take her position of leadership, as appointed by the Holy Spirit, with confidence, strength, grace and dignity and with the purpose of bringing glory to our Heavenly Father. Every day we are seeking the Lord for what this ministry will look like. I am so excited to announce that I will be going with a team to India at the end of May. We will be going into the red light district and working with the “You Can Free Us Foundation”. I hope to have my eyes opened and my heart broken, for God to reveal to me new things and next steps.
If you have questions or just want to catch up and hear crazy stories from my six months on the field, or what awesome things God has opened my eyes and heart to, then I would love to get together with you and chat! Hopefully the jet lag won’t be too bad! Thank you for all your support and encouragement through this. It was a tough decision and a lot to sit on with the Lord. Can’t wait to see you all and to see what God has up next!
