When I first heard about the race, I was a 20 year old single college student who literally had a world of options ahead of me. I had nothing tying me down to any particular place and no real reason to stay. Well, all of that changed in November of 2015 when my best friend asked me to be his girlfriend.
It was such an incredible time of learning new things about one another and discovering how much we really meant to each other. I fell for Joey quickly, and I fell hard. But that didn’t change the calling I felt God had placed on my heart for the Race.
I still had to go. But a part of being didn’t want to. A big part.
In the weeks and months leading up to launch, we spent a lot of time in prayer together and apart. We prayed for confirmation that this was in fact what God was calling us both to at this time in our lives. We prayed for strength because we knew this year was going to be the toughest one yet. And we prayed that God would show up in big incredible ways for both of us so that when we came back together and shared what He had showed us, we would be an absolutely unstoppable team together.
The day we said goodbye outside of security at the Birmingham Airport is still the worst day of my life. As we both cried and hugged each other and reassured one another that things would be okay, that things would be good, my heart broke. I had never felt that feeling before. That feeling of walking away from the one that love and saying goodbye. I knew that the next hello was coming but it seemed like an eternity away from that moment. It honestly didn’t seem fair.
I left for the Race excited to see what was ahead for me but I was also a little angry at God. Why would He put such an incredible man into my life my freshman year in college, and cultivate our relationship to the point where it was, and ask me to leave? Why would He put me through the pain of saying goodbye?
I didn’t get an answer to my questions so I decided just to push through and to push through with Joey.
We got into a rhythm of talking when we could, thank you iMessaging, and keeping notes to make into emails when we couldn’t. I got to share with him the highs of ministries and the lows, and he shared with me the joys of a new job and the difficult points as well. We figured out the best times to connect with the ever changing time zones and wifi capabilities. Months with the most wifi, I thought, would be the easiest because it would “feel like I never left”. I was wrong. They felt just as hard if not harder because it served as a constant reminder of where I am not. I am not there to celebrate his good days and talk with him through the hard ones. He’s not here with me as I celebrate a man meeting Jesus and giving his life to Him and consoling me when my grandmother died and I didn’t know how to grieve.
But the one thing that never changed and never will is our love for each other but above that the Lord. I can think of one day in particular in Ecuador, month 2, and I was having a bad day and an even worse attitude. I found a few minutes of wifi and used it to vent to Joey about everything that was bothering me. His response was simple and beautiful, he said “it sounds like you need to talk to Jesus before you can talk to me”. Honestly though, at first I was furious. I only get wifi once a week and you’re telling me not to talk to you?! Are you serious?! But what a gift that message was!! And what a treasure it was to hear him tell me to talk to Jesus. To hear him say that Jesus is the one who can transform my heart and comfort me. To know that even though thousands of miles apart, his desire was for my relationship with the Lord to grow stronger and stronger. Joey has told me many times, and this is a truth I now cling to, that no matter where in the world we are, we are so close together when we are in the Father’s arms.
People, on the Race and back home, ask me what it’s like to being having the adventure while having a boyfriend back home. I don’t really have the answer people want to hear. It’s hard, it’s really hard. There have been nights sitting on staircases crying over spotty wifi while trying to have a serious conversation. There have been days when all I wanted was to see and talk to my best friend. But there’s been a lot of beauty in it too. I have seen us both mature in our walks of adulthood and our walks with the Lord. We have been relying on God for much more and entrusting Him with the heart of the other. Jesus knows how to love Joey better than I ever can and I have to let Him.
Now I wouldn’t go so far to say I recommend 11 months apart because it really can bring out and highlight problems or issues you may have. It’s hard to talk about communication issues over Facebook messages.
But I wouldn’t want to go through this with anyone else. I wouldn’t want to fight for any other person. I knew leaving for the Race that this is man I am going to marry and hung on to that. God knew what He was doing when He called us apart for 11 months. He knew it would challenge us beyond what we thought we could do. He knew it would be hard. But I also believe that He knew we could do it. Not because of our strength, but because of His. It’s not our stellar relationship that keeps up standing, it’s the foundation we built it on, the foundation fixated on Christ.
In January, at the Birmingham Airport, my heart broke as I said “see ya later” to my best friend on the worst day I could imagine. But I look forward to the future with SUCH joy and excitement thinking about the next airport we will hug in in November.
“I have much to write you, but I do not want to do so with pen and ink. I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face” [3 John 13-14] and oh man, what a great day that will be.
