It was really hard having to be moved from our ministry site because our host ended up not being who he said he was.
It was really hard evangelizing to Muslim men who only spoke French.
It was really hard being in a French speaking hospital trying to explain what hurt.
It was really hard not having wifi to talk to my loved ones at home and hear their encouraging words.
It was really hard not being with my parents for their 30th anniversary.
It was really hard not celebrating with my brother as he turned 21.
It was really hard testing positive for malaria.
It was really hard changing routes because our original country became too unsafe.
It was really hard to eat foods that made my stomach ache for the rest of the day each day.
It was really hard going to sleep each night and waking up with hundreds of bug bites.
It was really hard not knowing when my next shower was going to be.
It was really hard hearing my dad tell me my grandmother had passed away.
It was really hard to not be with my family for her funeral.
It was really hard testing positive for malaria twice.
It was really hard seeing poverty everywhere I looked and having no power to change it.
It was really hard to not be able to comfort every sick baby.
It was really hard not seeing everyone we prayed for healed.
It was really hard to not have every answer to every question I was asked.
It was really hard to realize everything I said I needed is totally unnecessary.
But God was there through it all.
But He didn’t make it easier.
He never said He would.
He said He would never leave my side and He kept His promise.
Yes, it was really hard but that is exactly what Jesus said it would be like to follow Him. He told us to deny ourselves pick up our cross daily and follow Him. And these last three months were the first time I realized how heavy that cross really is.
The cross that He bore willingly for me.
These last three months were the first time I had to deny myself every single day to follow His will. It wasn’t the easy choice. But He never said it was going to be.
My God doesn’t lie and each day He showed why I followed Him. Each day I got to encounter His children or His creation and know that He is good.
The days were long. The months were long. But His love letter for us is even longer.
It was really hard but thank God that God fights harder for me than I could ever fight for Him.
