This month, our ministry has been hard. It’s not because what we are doing is physically taxing or are days are long, it’s because I haven’t felt like we’ve done anything. Our ministry hosts had many different ministries lined up for us during our month here in Peru with different people and I was excited to serve in so many different capacities. The night before our first day of scheduled ministry we got a call that the pastor we were going to be working with had been mugged and was in the hospital so, of course, plans had to be changed. We spent that first day praying for Pastor Victor and getting situated in our new “home” and to me, the day didn’t feel wasted. The next day, we learned that while he was released from the hospital, pastor victor still had recovery ahead of him to heal and we would again not be with his church. A little deflated, my team and I patiently waited until we were told of another opportunity for the day, and then one presented itself.
As I hope many of you have heard, Lima Peru and surrounding areas to the north are having extreme flooding and mudslides effecting and displacing thousands as well as taking the lives or many. Because of this, there became a need for sandbags to be placed around homes that are not structurally sound in hopes of protecting them from possible destruction. We were paired with a church that also partners with Compassion International to do just that. We took two busses, a little less than a 2 hour trip, out to the outskirts of Lima where the church was located only to find that the supplies we needed would not be delivered until the next day. So we turned around and headed home. I was excited to go back the next day because I so desired to be of use here in Lima. So bright and early the next morning we started the multi-bus trip back out to the neighborhood we were at the previous day. A little over halfway into the trip, our ministry host Rob received a devastating phone call. The street that the church was on was now flooded and even the bridge we crossed just yesterday, had collapsed, making it unsafe and even impossible for us to return.
Honestly, I felt defeated. I had had my heart set on so many different things and I felt I had continually been let down. I tried not to let it show to my team but I was frustrated. I wanted to work. I wanted to be useful. I wanted to go what I said set out to do and help people. I wanted to do something.
The next few days our ministry went according to the schedule and we worked with a local church. Do not get me wrong, I really really enjoyed working with this church. I loved feeling a part of a congregation again even if only for a day. It’s always so good to be in fellowship with other believers. But my heart still wanted more. I still wanted to be out in the trenches, fighting the fight for those who couldn’t.
Sunday after church, a teammate and I, Sara, we’re at the local Starbucks catching some wifi when we heard (in an American voice), “Do you know the wifi password?” We looked up at saw Pastor Mark. Now while the two of us had not actually met Pastor Mark in person, we knew he was from the United States doing a missions trip in Peru for spring break and that he had helped out other members of our team by letting them shower at his hotel, the mudslides and flooding has caused us to not have running water for the last 5 or so days making finding showers an adventure in itself. We introduced ourselves and he asked how our ministry was going and we expressed to him our deep desire to help with flood relief. Then he said something that was so awesome to hear. He said he had some connections with people who may be going out the next day to do some relief and he would reach out to them on our behalf. My heart could have sang at this point. Finally, I was going to do what I had set out to do. After following him to a church service and talking with his connection, also affiliated with Compassion International (I see you Jesus) we had our go, we were meeting he next morning at the church at 8 am and we would be the way. Yes. Awesome. Perfect.
On the way back to our home for the month I said “if this falls through too, I may just break down and cry because I am so over it” and I honestly meant it. I felt so drained from broken plans and the constant uncertainty. But as I laid down that night, I felt broken for a whole different reason. I realized just how many times in the last few days I had used the word “I”. I want to help. I want to be useful. I want to do something. When did I turn service into a selfish act? How did I make this month about me? What could I do differently from now on?
I laid on my side and I prayed as tears fell down my cheeks;
“Jesus, if this plan is of you let it come to fruition. Let You be glorified not only above everyone else but instead of anyone else. And if this does not fall into Your plan, let it fall away. My pride will survive if need be, if not, let that fall away too”
And that brings us to today, I got up and prepared for the day. I prepared myself for hard work but I also prepared my heart for another change of plans if that was indeed according to His plan. This morning was also a treat because when we woke up, we had running water for the first time in days and I knew that day was going to be one to remember. We headed to the church where we would be meeting the other volunteers working with flood relief today, and off we went. I am going to write another blog post about what I saw and expereinced today, but know this right now, it was always in God’s plan for me to where we I was today and for me to meet the people and see the destruction this historical flooding is causing. There was no need for me to doubt or try and plan God because His plans and His timing is always perfect.
