I want to start off by saying that this is my first attempt at blogging or putting my intertwined thoughts into words at all so bear with me if this comes across scattered and jumpy, I promise to get better or at least to try.
I’ve decided that being a senior in anything is hard. Being a senior in high school you are bombarded with a thousand questions, “Where are you going to college?”, “Do you know your roommate?”, “What’s your major going to be?”, “Aren’t you scared about being 630 miles away from everyone you know?” and being a senior in college is no different, “What are you doing next year?”, “How are you using your degree?”, “Was it worth it?”. Many people are taken aback at my answer to their question of what is my plan. I am not going to grad school, I am not studying for any entrance exam, I do not have a wonderful job lined up, I am going on the World Race.
When I tell people this I usually get the same response of “Oh, now what’s that?”, total unrelated side-note but I once got asked if that was the Amazing Race and I was slightly confused that someone thought I had personality to be on a reality show anyway, and I give the most simple explanation I can think of “I’m going to spend 11 months in 11 countries doing mission work”. I then get a wide array of reactions to that. They very from “Oh that’s awesome!” to “But, why?”. I’ve come to have no expectations when I tell people my plans because trust me I COMPLETELY understand that what I am going to do is not normal and let’s face it, a little crazy. It’s crazy to live out of a backpack for a year and uproot your life every month, it’s crazy to be okay with the idea of not having a decent shower for 11 months, it’s crazy to be excited to sleep in a tent if thats the only place there is room, it’s crazy to spend 17 hours on a bus, I GET IT. But think about it, Jesus’ love for me is even crazier. His love for me (and you) is beyond words and if you don’t believe that just look at what I’m trying to accomplish, there is no better explanation than Jesus.
I think it’s important for you to know that this was not always my plan, some days it still isn’t MY plan. The Lord truly laid it on my heart that He wanted me to go out into the world to spread His love and for a while I ran from that. I honestly thought God was talking to the wrong person (yeah Delaney because He would make that kind of mistake). I thought there was NO WAY that I could do this, that this is what He wanted me to do. But that voice didn’t go away. So one day I stopped being stubborn(ish) and decided to listen.
My goal is not to change the world. My goal is not to win the world for Jesus, He has already done that. My goal and my mission is to love God with all my heart and love who He loves, wherever that takes me. This whole experience is a lesson in obedience and a lesson in following the road He takes me on, even when I can’t see it.
So to everyone who asks me if I’m scared I have a simple answer for you, heck yes. I would be the worlds biggest liar if I said I was standing at this cliff to jump with no fear. But just because I’m afraid doesn’t mean that I’m not going to do it. I heard a quote once that said “Obedience isn’t being fearless, it’s doing it scared” and I’m trying to live that out. I know that with my friends and family behind me, the world in front of me, and God all around me, failure isn’t an option so fear doesn’t need to be one as well.
I am not ready. I am preparing. I am praying constantly. I am excited. I am fearful. And I am going on the World Race.
Much love,
Delaney
