I've been struggling with prayer recently.
As an avid prayer warrior, my natural reaction when someone is in need of prayer is to close my eyes and get lost in the words the Lord gives me. Typically, I am the loudest person praying – not because I want to be heard or anything, but my voice just carries much more effectively then the majority of other humans, I also tend to be incredibly passionate when I pray which tends to make me louder.
Recently however, when it comes to my prayer life, I've been walking on unfamiliar territory.
I've been walking on grounds of hesitation and silent words flowing out from under my breath. I've been walking the steps of an unheard encourager, the unnoticed warrior. This new way of prayer fees strange and unknown.
The problem is not that I have lost my boldness, or am shying away from who I know the lord has created me to be. Instead I think I am learning to walk more into who I was always supposed to be.
As a prayer warrior, I have become comfortable with praying over strangers, or jumping up to bless a group of mighty warriors, reminding them of who they were created to be. I became so familiar with the identity of a prayer warrior I slowly stopped begging the lord to be my words, and started finding confidence in the smooth flow of words ushering from my mouth.
To keep me from self-dependence, the lord has taken me on a different path leading me away from my passionate prayers for this season. He is taking me from my comforts of being a mighty prayer warrior, and is teaching me how to worship in new, completely me ways.
One of the ways I have learned to worship this summer is through my talents.
I've recently realized I have been spending more time drawing and doodling here in Thailand then I can ever remember. Every other page of my journal it seems as something dancing across it.
The Lord is teaching me to worship through my drawing.
Every single one of us has amazing God given talents. For some it’s swimming, or fishing, or singing, for others it’s dancing or photography. We have gifts and talent all around us, and when we walk in those things, such as drawing because we love to draw, or writing because that is what we feel like we were created to do, we are honoring God.
For me, I feel like the lord has given me the gift of art, and by using those talents all summer, I have been worshiping him.
Let me explain:
If I gave my little sister a brand new pair of boots (one which she had picked out of course- little girls tend to be picky) and she put them in her closet and never wore them, perhaps because she was trying to be humble and not show off her amazing gift, I wouldn't feel honored or respected at all.
No, I would want my little sister to throw on those boots and wear them everywhere. I would want people to admire her boots, and I would want the soles completely worn through. She would love me and honor me best by using the gift I had given her.
When I draw, or paint, or sketch, when I use the artistic ability the Lord has given me, it brings glory to Him because He gave me those gifts to use!
Honestly, I don’t even think I have to be painting pictures of Jesus everywhere or drawing a million crosses to honor God. I think He is just as honored by my Humble Lion drawing, as he is by all my caricature drawings (yes, it’s a new hobby I picked up this summer!)
It’s not necessarily what I draw that brings glory to God (although sometimes I can bring Him glory by what I draw) it’s that I am being faithful with the little that he has given me. ‘
I draw because I love it. I draw because I want to become a better artist. I draw because it not only brings me joy, but it can also bring others joy, or beauty, or hilarity in the case of my caricature drawings.
I draw because the Lord created me to be an artist. By me being the best artist that I can, I am walking in exactly who He created me to be. What could be more honoring or a purer form of worship then that?
In those moments where it is just my pen in my hand, whether I am thinking about God or not, whether I am praying or not, it’s a pure moment of worship between me and Jesus.
What are some new ways that the Lord is asking you to worship Him in? will you answer his call, and walk in those new ways of worship?
