Yesterday, I turned 25.
If you had asked me ten years ago where I would be on my 25th birthday, 15-year-old Deborah probably thought she had it all figured out. She would have told you that I would be over half way finished with my third year of teaching, successfully defeating the statistic that most new teachers leave within the first few years. The progression of my education would be underway, with several semesters of my Master’s Degree under my belt. Becoming principal would still be several years away, but becoming closer day by day. Marriage would be in the picture, if not already obtained, and I would be blissfully happy. Though money wouldn’t be the most important thing, my significant other and I would live comfortably because my school debt and finances would be under control. My family would be healthy and whole, with regular, joyful visits on weekends, because I would always be on top of grading and planning and schoolwork and housework. I would be looking forward to the next 40 years, making my mark on the world in the lives of the children passing through my classroom. It would be their Jesus-filled home away from home.
(20th Birthday)
Here is what I would NOT have told you. I would not tell you that I would be back living with my parents. I would not tell you that I would be unemployed or that I would spend my days caring for my sick, home-bound mother. I would not tell you that I would have over $25,000 in school debt that I had no idea how to pay off (still waiting on that miracle check!). I would not tell you that I have no car. I would not tell you that I had, in fact, become the statistic and left teaching. And I would not tell you that I had NO idea what was next.
But all of this is true.
(21st Birthday)
But I also would not have told you that I had traveled to 13 countries in the last year, living in 11 of them. I would not tell you that I had hiked volcanoes in Guatemala and seen snow-capped mountains in Bulgaria. I would not have said that I would have been soaked by the mists of Victoria Falls, gazed in awe at the Coliseum, or sweat my way through the temples at Angkor Wat. I would not have told you that I’d explored the cities of Thailand, been knee-deep in pig poop in Albania, danced in African churches, or held the hands of children all over the world. I wouldn’t have told you that a three-year-old Honduran (four now!) had totally and completely stolen my heart. I wouldn’t have told you that the laughter of my Malawian preschoolers and Cambodian kindergartners was the only thing that got me through the months of July and October. I wouldn’t have told you that I had tasted, and even helped make, the cuisines of many cultures. I wouldn’t have told you that I was completely content with not being married, because I’ve learned what it means to have that area of my life fulfilled by the Lord (most days). I wouldn’t have told you that I have beautiful and passionate dreams blooming (though still in the “I have no idea what to do with this” stage).
But all of this is also true.
(22nd Birthday)
So no, my life is not anything like I expected it would be. It is messy and imperfect and beautiful. It is scary and uncertain and in the hands of the Father. At the ripe old age of 25, I have had the chance to get a taste of BOTH of my dream careers, and I have found that God still has more in store for me. Something big is on the horizon, and though I still haven’t reached that yet, I am determined to enjoy the journey with One who planned it.
(24th Birthday – Quiche, Guatemala)
Where will I be ten years from now? I won’t even to pretend like I have a clue.
