Here it is…. Finally! An update! Hopefully will get filed of Dreams and a few more up this week! FYI, I’m fine now!
January 25
“May my cry come before you, O Lord;
Give me understanding according to your word.
May my supplication come before you; deliver me according to your promise.
May my lips overflow with praise, for you teach me your decrees.
May my tongue sing, for your commands are righteous.
May your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen your precepts.” Psalm 119:169-173
To say this week has been challenging would be an understatement. After several really blessed days, I woke up Wednesday with minor back pain, normal for sleeping on the mattresses here. Like every morning, it went away…until about an hour later. Throughout the day, the pain got progressively worse, and everything hurt. Sitting, standing, sweeping, walking…I had no idea what was going on. My team insisted I lay down for a while, which was the last thing I wanted to do. I was here to serve, not to lay in someone else’s bed. After much stubborn protesting though I had to admit I was in pain. The pain now radiated from my back into my hips as well, so I laid down and watched a movie on my iPad.
When it was over, I rolled over to get up, and couldn’t move. I tried again and again. The pain was so excruciating I could not move in any direction. Fire coursed through my lower back clear down into my right leg. Having discussed the symptoms and possibilities of sciatica with my pregnant sister just months before, I was pretty sure this must be it…or a horrific parasite (thank you for those visions, Monsters Inside Me). I tried for an hour to get out of bed, and I finally had to call for help. It took 3 members of my team and wheelchair to get me out of the bed and several more people to get me to the doctor. I have never been in so much agony in my life. I have a fairly high pain threshold and this blew it out of the water. I was in excruciating pain and terrified, as visions of spinal-chord-eating parasites haunted me.
2 trips to the Honduran clinic, 3 shots in the bottom, multiple painkillers, 2 pharmacy visits, several days and nights on the floor in the tent of shame, 1000 lempiras (that’s $50), and 2 souvenir x-rays later, I’m still not sure what happened. The doctor said a slight curve in my spine may have put pressure on my sciatic nerve. She really thought it was gas pain. I politely disagreed, as gas pain doesn’t usually render someone immobile and sobbing. I don’t blame the doctor, she did the best she could with the equipment she has. So I’m trusting that my Enflamed or pinched nerve is in Gods hands and that it will not return (prayers are appreciated). I believe He is already healing it, as I now am up and moving again.
My constant prayer for the last few days has been that God show me why I need to go through this ( and that I don’t have a spinal-chord-eating parasite). I may not know the complete answer yet, but I have a sneaking suspicion that God is teaching me about reliance. I’ve had to rely on my teammates and squad mates for nearly everything, from rides to favors to holding my hand during butt-shots to money in my ordeal this week. I cannot express my gratitude enough, as they have gone above and beyond. God Literally had to lay me out on my back to show me that independence, stubbornness, and my determination to not ask for help really have no place in my relationship with others, my ministry, and especially my relationship with Him. He had to “break” my back to show me a crack in these things. Perhaps next time, I will be less stubborn.
