I’ve been romanced before. Shoot, I even fell in love once upon a time. I know what it’s like to feel special, attended to, desired, and known. To get all dressed up and plan a nice evening with the one you love. To sacrifice dreams and passions in order to create a beautiful life with another person. I also know what it’s like to have my heart broken, to have plans snatched from underneath me, and to ask a million times in a thousand different ways, “What is wrong with me?”
This past year I went on the first leg of my journey to find my answer to just that. After my breakup, I moved to Australia for a four-month study abroad program. It just so happens that there was a lot more in store for me than lessons on culture, religion, and politics.
Upon my arrival at the Sydney Airport, I found the students in my program and was met with the same terrifying question over and over again, “Tell me about yourself, what makes you ‘you’?” What makes me ‘me’? Lord knows! Everything that previously defined me and consumed my thoughts was just taken from me, so what’s left to share?
I was mortified by my inability to share my interests, talk about future dreams, and describe myself. I was even more appalled by the fact that I had been so consumed with my relationship that I had no interests, dreams, or attributes that were independent of my ex.
Thankfully, I was not stuck in this condition for long. Jesus was so sweet to me during those four months. He healed me of bitterness, freed me of anger, filled me with passion, and opened my eyes to brand new dreams that were so much better than the dinky little dreams I had been working towards for the last few years.
Jesus showed me life. He romanced me and made me truly fall in love for the first time.
As a wedding gift, Jesus promised to take me on special eleven month honeymoon around the world. I could barely believe that he was taking me on the World Race, so by the time training camp rolled around I stuffed my pack with camp gear, boarded a plane, and arrived in Georgia as if in a dream. Unlike my experience in Sydney, I did not arrive at the Atlanta Airport like a snail who stayed outside too long and got shriveled up in the sun.
Instead of being terrified of meeting the thirty-eight people I would be spending the next year with, I was confident. Instead of rehearsing what to say about myself when people asked, I simply walked up to the group with a smile and let the conversations flow. Instead of being mortified by my lack of identity, I had plenty to share about the person God had revealed me to be.
You see, this time around I’m not alone. This time around, I’m in a marriage with my Jesus and the simple fact that he loves me and is rooting for me is enough to calm my nerves and bolster my ability to just be who he created me to be! He’s delighted by my every passion, enthused by all my quirks, and amused by all my silly ideas. It turns out that his people are too.
I was overwhelmed by the love I received at training camp. My teammates spoke life into me and accepted everything about me. They laughed at my camp songs, cheered me on as I danced, lifted me up in prayer and commended my gifts. Not once did I feel the need to impress anyone or prove my worth. Never did they make me feel unwelcome.
And let me tell you something, J Squad never quits. They just love, love, love.
It was through his people that Jesus showed me an extra measure of his love this week. He told me how he would use my teammates’ feedback to continually reveal my vices along with my virtues. He promised that he wouldn’t stop speaking truth and life into me even though it may be hard to hear at times. He made it clear that every joy and trial he brings me through during the next eleven months will be for the building up of his beloved bride. He gave me his word that he will never stop chasing me, he will never quit being my perfect gentleman.
As I mentioned before, this past year was the first leg of my journey towards a life of self-awareness and a truly loving relationship with Jesus. I wholeheartedly believe that the World Race is the next leg of my journey and that Jesus needs me to go on this honeymoon with him. He’s revealed who I am in him, and now he wants to reveal himself more fully to me. At Training Camp, I realized how Jesus has been romancing me this past year and I am convinced that he wants to continue showing me how perfect of a gentleman he is.
I would like to invite you to date Jesus with me over the next year. Please considering following my story by subscribing to my blog and supporting my journey by donating to my World Race. And above all, fall in love with Jesus.
Let him be your perfect gentleman!
J Squad: The Champions of Squad Wars.
