I’m sitting in a hotel room in Houston, Texas, the United States of America right now. There’s air conditioning, a warm shower, a TV (which has not been turned on), and three comfy pillows on each of the two clean, cozy, bed-bug-free beds.
I am the only person in the room.
But that will change shortly. Six of my other squadmates are also staying the night here in Houston. Some are down the hall, some have gone to get ice cream. We’ve decided we are a team for the evening and have dubbed ourselves “Team She’s-Not-Ready.” There were various reasons each of us decided to take this extra night apart from our families. Some were economical reasons – cheaper flights on Mondays. For me, a big part of the reason for taking this extra night was because I want to be actually rested when I see my family for the first time in eleven months, not the half-human mess I normally am by the end of a long travel day (and with this particular travel day having started at 1:30 am San Juan del Sur time, I think I made the right choice.)
Team She’s-Not-Ready ate dinner tonight at Chili’s. We had a server named Marcus who was the bomb. He had a big personality and seemed to genuinely care that his diners had a great time. I watched the way each of my teammates treated Marcus. Everyone talked to him like he’s a fellow human. Alexa demonstrated grace and patience when it turned out that her chicken wasn’t cooked all the way through. Katie asked him how it would be easiest for him for us to pay for our shared 2-for-20 meal. Annaka and Ashley showed zero agitation or anger when their bills were initially mixed up. Taylor neatly stacked all the plates when we were done eating. Lupita thanked him for making our first meal back in America so great.
I’ve been released from The World Race, but I haven’t been released from sharing God’s love with people. I wouldn’t want to be released from that even if it were possible. There’s The World Race, and then there’s Life. And the heart of each of them are the same.
* * *
So, what is it like to say good-bye to people who you’ve lived with in tough places for nearly a year? How does it feel to give that last hug, not knowing if or when you’ll ever see each other again? What’s it like to say good-bye to people who you’ve grown to love with all of your heart?
Mostly, to me, it just feels strange. Part of me expects Shannon to pop into the room at any moment, laughing about something or other. Part of me thinks that if I go walk down the hall of this hotel I will surely hear Alex playing his guitar behind one of those doors. Part of me thinks that I need to go tell Kris and James good night.
But Shannon and Alex and Kris and James are all home, or en route to home. We said our good-byes, gave those last hugs, and went our separate ways. And I feel sadness about that, but also I just feel a lot of weirdness.
Tomorrow will probably feel even weirder. I’ll be going to the airport with four other members of Team She’s-Not-Ready. I imagine that we will fairly quickly have to go our separate ways to our separate flights. Part of me will think that Hannah will be there to help me logistics my way though it (I don’t need the help anymore, but I still want it.) Part of me will think that I see squadmates everywhere.
I don’t know how to end this blog. It probably won’t be the last blog I write. I still want to share more about what the Lord taught me this year, but that needs some more processing. Really, I just wanted to capture how I’m feeling in this moment…this last night alongside Racers.
The word for how I’m feeling?
WEIRD.
