I haven’t been blogging very much this month. Truthfully, that’s because I feel like I’ve had very little to say. We are in a small town with not much to do; our ministry opportunities up until this past Wednesday (when we started regularly volunteering at two local schools) have been sporadic; not many people here speak English and our host/translator has been away a lot, so even going out and making up our own ministry was tricky; we’ve had a good deal of down time that we spend reading, playing cards, listening to music, watching movies, or going for walks if it’s not too hot.

 

But as I look back over this month, my least structured month yet, I can see one thing that God’s been teaching me – sometimes, perhaps even most of the time, all you need to do is show up.

 

I first sensed the Lord saying this to me when we went to the park one evening a couple of weeks ago. The park is a short walk from our house, and in the evenings it fills up with adults Jazzercising, teenagers playing soccer, groups of four kicking around what looks like a badminton birdie, and kids running around or watching the adults. On this particular night, Kris, James, and Dylan sat beside the giant Buddhist statue playing songs on their guitars and singing, Jocelyn went to join in the soccer game, and Shannon and I started throwing a Frisbee around. We were soon joined by four kids, three boys and a girl, and Shannon began giving them Frisbee-throwing lessons. We all played around for awhile. One of the boys in particular left an impression on me, probably because he kept tackling his sister to get to the Frisbee first, or because he smiled so much and was so bright-eyed and adorable, or because he was filthy. We played with these kids for an hour or so, then went home. We hadn’t done anything except throw a Frisbee around, but I knew God was pleased to see that those precious kids had been loved that evening.

 

I’ve seen that dirty bright-eyed kid twice since then. Once, I suddenly realized he was at my side in the crowd at a concert in the park. The other time, I saw him as the team was walking down the street on the way to the school. He had a trash bag that was almost as big as he was slung over his shoulder. Both times, we’ve smiled and waved at each other…because we’re friends now.

 

There have been other times this month when I wasn’t intentionally trying to find people to talk to, but they showed up anyway. I seem to keep finding white people (aka people who speak English). One morning, we had fruit for breakfast and I was still hungry afterwards, so I went to the bakery. Finding the bakery nearest to us closed, I went on to a different bakery. And I found four missionaries there! They all work for an organization called SEAPAC, two as teachers at the public university, and two as builders of schools and orphanages. Although our conversation was short, it was encouraging to meet people who are here for long-term missions.

 

Another time, I was buying an iced coffee (they are delicious) along the side of the road when a random white girl approached me and said in a British accent, “Excuse me, do you live here, or are you visiting? I was wondering if you could tell me a good place to eat.” I gave her terrible directions to a restaurant where we go pretty regularly. She thanked me and left. A second later, having been handed my iced coffee, I ran after her. “You’ll never find it with those crappy directions I just gave you,” I confessed, and chatted with her as we walked to the restaurant. Turns out she is in Cambodia for seven weeks, working with a French charity. She talked about how she is teaching kids to write poems and stories, to use their imaginations, which is a concept that is generally foreign to them. I also got to share what we are doing here. Again, not exactly deep conversation, but it was fun to make a connection. Every time God gives me the chance to practice talking to strangers, it gets a little more natural.

 

Another thing that is getting more natural is making teaching stuff up on the fly. There have been numerous times this month where we’ve shown up at a school and had little to no idea what we were supposed to be doing there. Once, we took some hygiene products to a classroom full of 10-13 year olds. We stood in a line in the front and introduced ourselves, then looked desperately at our translator for some kind of clue about what to do next. What ended up happening was that I made up a game to practice English called “Stand Up, Sit Down.” It went something like this: “Stand up if you’re wearing a green tie! Ok, sit down. Stand up if you’re a girl! (Kids giggle as one of the boys stands up, then quickly sits back down.) Ok, sit down. Stand up if you’re eleven years old! Ok, sit down.” You get the picture! There were also the two days when I ended up serving as an actual substitute teacher in an English class for teenagers when I fully expected to go into the same class I’d gone into the previous day and just help the teacher. The teens were super sweet and were able to converse with me and understood most of what I was saying.

 

In these teaching situations and in the random encounters with strangers, it’s like God keeps saying, “Don’t worry. Don’t worry about looking foolish or like you don’t know what you’re doing. Don’t worry about having a plan. Everything is going to be fine…all I need you to do is show up.”

 

This holds true with door-to-door ministry as well. We have had two opportunities this month to do door-to-door ministry with translators. This morning was one of those times. We visited four houses. At the first, James took the lead and talked about Jesus to an older woman who said she didn’t know who Jesus was (planting seeds). At the second, Kris took the lead and spoke with a young husband and wife with two young children. The husband’s late father had been a Christian, so he was vaguely familiar with Christianity. Kris spoke lots of life into him and we encouraged him to return to church (watering seeds). In the third home, Alex and I tag-teamed it as we spoke to a sweet middle-aged woman, telling her the Gospel and assuring her that Christianity is more than a Western religion – that God wants everyone to be a part of his family. We had accumulated a gang of young followers by the time we arrived at the fourth house, so Shannon and I took the (non-English speaking) kids aside and entertained them while the rest of the team poured into an older couple who knew about Jesus and who had lived through terrible things during the Pol Pot regime.

 

During missions trips prior to this one, I would dread having to do “evangelism.” Let me play with the kids; let me sing songs and do skits and teach English, but please, please, please – don’t make me have to explain the Gospel to anyone. Such responsibility! What if I don’t know what to say? What if I say it wrong? What then? But now…now, though I still see sharing the Gospel with people as a great responsibility, the pressure is somehow gone. They’re just people. We’re just talking to people about their lives, their experiences – and about a story and a Person we know very, very well.

 

So, how to wrap this up? In a month that felt like a lot of nothingness a lot of the time, God was at work. He’s taught me that Just Showing Up is the first step of everything. Sometimes, it’s the only thing you need to do. Because when you Just Show Up to the place where God is calling you, He meets you there. And when God meets you there, He shows you what to do next.

 

Do not fear. There’s more out there for you. Get off of the couch. Get out of the hammock. And Just Show Up to your life.