“What has the Lord been teaching you this month?” my friend and squad leader, Alexa, asked me one day.
I was grumpy and tired, and I hate this question because it always makes me feel put on the spot, so I mumbled something incoherent and then was relieved when we were quickly interrupted.
What has the Lord been teaching me? There have been months on the Race when I’ve felt like He hasn’t taught me anything. This month is not one of those months. I feel like this month He’s given me bits and pieces of a lot of things – through books I’m reading, through Scripture, through our life experiences and interactions with the people here in this place. I feel like there have been three main themes that I keep thinking about and reading about, and I think they all connect somehow, but I don’t know how yet.
There’s something about the relationship between love and pain.
It is a holy calling to join with the Almighty in His grief.
Something about glory.
The mystery that has been hidden for ages and generations…which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.
And something about the Sacred Romance.
But there is still a higher and deeper level of intimacy and partnership awaiting us at the top of this metaphorical ascent. We [God and us] are lovers.
It’s a little after 7:00 in the morning as I’m writing this. It’s our last full day here at the girls’ home. For the past three weeks, we’ve lived life with 27 beautiful princesses, daughters of God, who have experienced tragedy and pain in ways that I hope never to know. I only know a little bit of some of their stories, and the little bit that I know has made me angry and broken my heart. There was a day, after learning some of their stories, when all I could think was, How dare you! How dare you touch these daughters of God! Whether those thoughts were directed to the humans who hurt them or to the devil himself, I’m not sure.
All this earth…could all that is lost ever be found? Could a garden come up from this ground, at all?
And yet, for all they’ve been through, they’ve not been left unable to love. The way they love is not usually seen in places like America, when our love is usually show in less demonstrative ways. They’ll hug your head and kiss your cheeks, ask you for a song, talk your ear off in a language you don’t really understand, hold your hand and lead you to a game of Uno. Somehow, despite everything, they still manage to be kids.
You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of the dust.
You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of us.
Which is not to say that everything is perfect all the time. There have been times this month where some of my teammates have experienced what it’s like to have a teenage girl cry into their shoulders over what has been lost, but most of the time, we fill the role of the fun aunts and uncles. We get to be here for the fun part – to play soccer and Uno, to read books, color pictures, sing songs, paint fingernails, watch movies, dance. There’s beauty, love, pain, and brokenness. It’s all here.
We have to say good-bye tonight (Tuesday). This is the hard part every month, but I have a feeling it will be even harder than usual this time. By the time you read this, it will be all said and done. We’ll have laughed and cried and hugged and kissed everyone ten thousand times. It will be over. But part of my heart will stay here. I’ll remember how patient Ruth and Amarilis were with me as we conversed in broken Spanish. I’ll remember swinging in the hammock with little Astrid as she sang in her baby voice. I’ll remember the way that Kimberly made sure no one cheated in Uno and the way that Sorida threw a fit whenever she didn’t like what was for dinner. I’ll remember Maria playing soccer in her pink skirt and Paola rolling down the hill in a fit of giggles. All these things, these daily things, are worth remembering. These girls are worth many memories and prayers.
Will you help me? Will you choose a girl from the list below, and lift her up in prayer tonight?
Pequenas (Littles)
Astrid
Sorida
Gloria
Kimberly
Carolina
Ester
Leyda
Medianas (Middles)
Yoselin
Jacqueline
Rosaura
Paola
Maria
Amarilis
Flory
Isabel
Ruth
Niurka
Adolecentes (Teenagers)
Teresa
Michele
Guadalupe
Aususana
Marisol
Norma
Pilar
Veronica
Carmen
Aura Maria
Me with a couple of princesses
