About 7 months ago I made this great plan. As I launched on the Worldrace I had this great “5 yr plan” as I called it. Ive always been one to plan my life…and God has always been one to wreck it . Not my life , just the plans. orange pack on my back, chacos on my feet I was ready to step off American soil and run across the globe for a year. I said goodbye to those I loved, and hello to a whole new family, I was ready to go iI had my plan and I was ready to see God show up and do big things.
but, I had no idea what he was planning.
Towards the end of month 4 my sister was due with her fifth baby, I knew the baby was going to arrive anyday but I had very limited wifi that month so i assumed I would be a few days late on hearing about it.
When I did find wifi I got about 5 msgs from my family at once. The first one was from my Sister Becky telling me she was in labor and on her way to the hospital, the last one was from my mom telling me Becky’s uterus ruptured and she was in emergency surgery. 3 hrs later I got a msg that while she was in surgery, she had cardiac arrest….twice and currently she was in a coma. 15 hrs later I was on flight from Manila to LA.
After four flights, 3 layovers, and a twelve hour car ride, I was at the hospital,
hopeful for the future, but not expectant. The next three weeks flew by, as my teammates and squad traveled to Africa and backpacked to their next ministry site, I traveled back and forth from the hospital, rehab center, and my sister house, where I got to take care of the other 4 kiddos. My days were filled with playdoh and running around outside and pbandj sandwiches, and my nights were full of staring at the wall hoping to hear the audible voice of God on what my next move would be. Because , honestly I was torn apart on what to do.
Finally one day, I prayed “Lord, if you don’t want me to go back, make it impossible, dont let me go, and if you don’t want me to stay don’t let me stay.” about 5 hours after praying that my shoulder dislocated. “oh” . Wellll I thought, after popping it back in, I’m sure it will be finne right? no big deal. Later that day I was in the car and tried to put on my seatbelt, but I didn’t have the range of motion to do that anymore, and it hit me, I can’t go into the bush of Africa like this, I can’t carry a backpack let alone one that weighs 35 lbs.” the next week was hard. I grieved the loss of the race as I officially left , closed my profile sent a goodbye email to my squad, I cried, but I felt so much peace and joy, My race consisted of the umpteenth reading of the Bernstein bears, the umpteenth bathing of a two yr old and the umpteenth time of saying ” no Im actaully not going back.” but I was at so much peace, it was very bittersweet, leaving behind a dream I had had for years is never an easy thing but stepping into a very unexpected and still sweet chapter two , Instead of meeting and investing in lives all over, I get five little souls that call me Aunt , and to me those little people are worth more then a thousand trips around the world.
So to answer the question, No I am not going back, Thank you to everyone who prayed, donated, loved and invested in my Worldrace, the four months I had in Asia were incredible and brought the world of missions so much closer to home. I have been blessed beyond belief by it and everyone that participated God bless as my family head into this new season!
