When I think about running water, a warm bed, the freedom of getting into my car and going somewhere, having a dog to welcome me at home, and family that loves me… the list goes on and on of all the things I’m going to miss throughout the next year.
As I think about what I’ll miss the most, all of the “what if’s” begin to flood into my mind at once. What if I’m really not ready for this? What if I something happens at home? What if something serious happens within my family? What if I can’t fundraise all of the money? What if I get sick or injured?
As all of these worries and questions flood my mind… I begin to wonder the origin of these thoughts. Does God make me feel nervous, rushed, anxious, scared, intimidated? No.
I think the biggest crime I could commit while preparing to leave is to live within this selfish and worrisome “what if” mentality and miss out on all that is still in front of me.
So instead of living in mindset of fear and worry, I propose a whole different type of “what if” mentality as I look to launch.
What if I took God out of the ‘theological box’ that I seem to place Him in regularly and watched Him freely move? What if God provides in a way that I’ve never imagined possible? What if I stopped obsessing over what I don’t have and thank God for what I do have? What if God breaks chains that people once said were unbreakable? What if God gives me compassion for a specific people group or issue? What if God has already given me everything that I need to be successful? What if God takes me deeper than I’ve ever gone before?
These types of thoughts and dreams take me to a place of excitement, peace, expectation, and comfort.
So here’s to throwing away my expectations of what I think this year will be like and allowing God to move in whatever way He sees fit. Here’s to welcoming change and heartbreak in ways I didn’t know possible. Here’s to God working within my life, the lives of my teammates, the lives of my squad mates, and all of the people that we come into contact with. May God be glorified as we prepare to leave for launch in 6 short days!!!!
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask “What if I fall?” Oh but my darling, What if you fly?” -Erin Hanson
Fundraising update: God has shown up in such huge ways in the last week and a half! God has far surpassed any fundraising goals I had hoped to meet before leaving. I owe a huge thank you to my church family at Calvary Chapel for allowing me to share and supporting me with such love and generosity. Thank you all!
