This month I am serving in an orphanage with the cutest babies, stinky, rebellious toddlers, and the most loving children with special needs. As we got a tour on our first day, the director encouraged us not to spend too much time downstairs with the babies and toddlers, as to miss out with the children with special needs. She had seen volunteers after volunteers latch onto the cute, babbling babies and miss out on the lessons God wanted to teach them upstairs.
So early on, I knew I wanted to spend the majority of my time upstairs with the older guys. The first time I walked into their room, I saw one girl pinching another, kids totally unresponsive with severe disabilities, countless wheelchairs, and then one of the girl’s walks up to me and hugs me hard. She had food in her teeth, drool dripping onto my shirt, but she had nothing but love for the strangers who just walked through the door.
Now that’s what I call love. Love without hesitation. No walls.
Part of me was totally overwhelmed because it was my first, close experience with special needs and I had no clue what to do. But the other part of me knew they were going to teach me a lot about love and letting go.
I’m the type of person that takes months of time before I decide if I can trust someone or not. I observe, I stay quiet, unexpressive, until I know whether or not that person is trustworthy. That’s how I’ve always been, but with a room full of kids with special needs, that’s not going to fly. You have to be ready to love and share emotion without any holding back.
Hello my old heart
It’s been so long
Since I’ve given you away
And every day I add another stone
To the walls I built around you
To keep you safe
Hello my old heart
How have you been?
How is it, being locked away?
Well don’t you worry
In there, you’re safe
And it’s true, you’ll never beat
But you’ll never break
Nothing lasts forever
Some things aren’t meant to be
But you’ll never find the answer
Until you set your old heart free
These kids have touched a part of my heart. Their little hands are pushing on that wall and I hope it sets my old heart free to love without hesitation.
