After spending the first few days in Albania, I had a sudden urge to cut my hair. It was a strange feeling because I’ve never considered cutting my hair before (more than your usual trim). I didn’t understand exactly where this desire was coming from, but I knew that somehow it was God beginning to teach me something. I won’t go so far as to say that God told me to cut my hair, but He began to show me glimpses of the lessons He wanted to teach me through it.
I told my team that I had the desire to cut it and to my surprise, they all encouraged it… to the point of giving me excited looks each time we passed a hair salon. The day finally came on July 28th 2015 where all of my hopes for having awesome braids in Africa went to bed. I showed the hairdresser a picture of what I wanted and everyone in the salon continued to ask me why. Why would you cut off so much beautiful hair? (He also asked if he could keep it…why not…?)
It was hard to put it to words then and it’s still hard. I told him that I wanted to express the freedom that I’m feeling on the inside of my heart. Some might interpret it as a fashion statement or trying to be seen as “edgy,” but to me it’s a part of experiencing more of who God wants me to be.
Two nights before this, we were told to pray for something we wanted God to show us and I prayed that God would teach me how to be free. Free to be me, His bride, exactly how I am.
Throughout all of my life someone has told me how to present myself. Whether that was my family, friends, or society…someone has always told me how to look in order to be accepted. “Put on some makeup.” “Why would you get that tattooed on you?” “You would look better if you wore your hair down more often.” “Do you really need to wear a t-shirt out tonight?”
The bride of Christ is constantly changing in her appearance. How cool is that? God accepts us as His bride no matter how we look. No matter if you have dreads, tatted from head to toe, with gold teeth, or if you’re in tune with the latest styles, in perfect shape, and killin’ it in the newest Jimmy Choo’s. He celebrates what makes us, us. God accepts me for me and He loves me for it. He loves my style, my sense of humor, my emotions, and my heart. He loves and accepts us, for us.
We are all going to look different in our wedding dresses. And there is so much beauty in that.
My worth, beauty, and femininity is not found in my looks, but in my heart and spirit (1 Pet. 3:3-4). I am wonderfully made (Ps. 139:14). I am a workmanship (Eph. 2:10). My life is hidden in Christ (Col. 3:1-4). I am a child of God (1 Jn. 3:1-3, Rom. 8:11-17). My shame is gone and I have joy in Him (Is. 61:7).
“But now thus says the Lord, He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life.’” -Isaiah 43:1-2, 4
