As William Shakespear so eloquently stated, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.”
I would hate to ever call a month of ministry a “flop,” but if we’re being honest, not every month is a shining moment of glory. Sometimes we struggle with the actual ministry, where we are placed within a country, or if our contact seems disinterested, whatever it might be. Last month was a bit of a struggle for me. I had never been to Africa before, so I pushed all of my secret, African hopes and expectations onto Malawi and prayed that it wouldn’t disappoint.
Before I left for the Race, I had two people prophesy over me that Africa was going to leave me changed. The prophecies spoke of two different things happening –that I would be filled with God’s joy from children and that I would fervently pray for the needs of these people. But the main message was that God was going to do a powerful work in my life during my time in Africa.
That added a bit of “pressure.”
Those words left me hopeful, but they also left me a bit too expectant. Once we arrived in Malawi, it wasn’t what I thought it would be. I thought “Ohhh we’re working at a Pentecostal Church in Africa!!! *Cue* ‘Let the Bodies Hit the Floor.’ All of my questions about the Spirit will finally be answered and who knows, maybe I’ll receive new spiritual gifts?” The bar was set a little high in my mind, but hey, I like to dream a bit.
Malawi ended out being challenge central for me. Working with three-year-olds, getting sick, living in a church, working with a somewhat distant contact, and having malaria-filled mosquitoes following me everywhere made it difficult! Thankfully, God used me despite my bad attitude and I ended up walking away with some great friends, memories, and victories for the Lord.
After our month in Malawi, we met with our squad for a few days to chat and rest. I heard stories of other teams casting out demons, healing countless people, planting churches, and doing some amazing kingdom work. And there I was, a bit uneasy about sharing what happened during our month…because it just wasn’t what I had hoped for. None of “my prophecies” came to pass.
I was just far too comfortable with being uncomfortable. So as we moved into Month 4 to Zambia, I promised myself that I would keep a good and expectant attitude no matter what the circumstances brought our way!
This month began with an obscene amount of time on a hot-packed bus, waiting at the Malawi-Zambia border for hours, switching buses (with all 55 of us and our luggage), sleeping at a hostel in Lusaka, then driving 12+ hours to Kasama, catching a taxi to our contact’s home, said taxi breaks down, get another taxi, arrive at 3AM to our contact saying, “See you at 7AM!”
We learn that we are the first-ever World Race team to work with Lawrence or African Vision of Hope. So not only is this all new to us, but it’s all new to him and his family. We move into their home, which is another first (not to mention they have five kids, so that means fourteen people under one roof). We buy our own food, cook our own meals, hand wash our laundry, and spend our days working at a school or evangelizing on the street. With so many new factors, there was the potential for confusion, frustration, and unfulfilled prophecies once again.
But God! Not one of those things have turned negative, but they have all turned into positives. No exaggeration. Living with the Mwanza’s has felt like home—especially since their 18 month son learned my name first. Cooking with Ralph has proven that we make some mean chicken and rice together. Washing my clothes outside means Miriam and Matilda running outside to help me to scrub my underwear—sure, it’s weird, but you let it happen because it goes by quicker.
And not to mention…ministry has been insane. I’ve loved teaching fourth grade English and Bible alongside Drew. Not only has working in the school been exciting, but we taught at a Women’s Bible Conference, Justin and Drew have been preaching, we all have taught countless Bible studies and devotionals, and (the most exciting part yet) we have prayed for many healings, a deliverance, and so many souls have been won for the kingdom! Our God is good!
Testimonies of God’s Power in Zambia from Deborah Gordon on Vimeo.
And what do you know… One day as we were walking through a village I began to just fill up with the joy of the Lord as I was surrounded by His children. It wasn’t how I had imagined it or expected it, but God has His moment with me. And it was beautiful. And full of joy.
