Real Men Buy Roses Not Girls
Music:I got the pleasure of using a cover of “Gravity”
sang by one of my sorority sisters, Caroline Smith! #OBIC
listen to the words
I am a missionary in the Red Light District this month and I am head over heels for this ministry even though their heels are normally the same level as my head.
What do I do exactly?… well ill paint ya a picture.
My team goes out to Bangla Road which is located in Patong Beach, Thailand. We go 4 times a week which makes us regulars at the bars now.
We break up into groups of 3 or 4 and hit the bars relying on the Holy Spirit to tell us where to go and who to talk to. We sit down at the bar and order red bulls and cokes then strike up conversation with the girls who are working. Some girls are on the floor playing games with customers like Connect Four while the other girls are dancing on the bar two inches in front of us.
The first night I ever went out I met this bar girl who was 30 named Bee. Bee and I really hit it off despite the her broken English and my complete lack of Thai we became gal pals that night. I got her number and asked her to go to coffee with me. I contacted her the next day, but it ended up not being be a good time for her so the coffee date didn’t happen.
The weekend came and went then it was back to Bangla Road. Our group was walking the bar a lot that night because we had specific girls we wanted to say hi to and we had gone through our money pretty quick for some reason.
I was leading the way in Tiger Bar and just heard someone say “D, turn down this aisle” so I took a sharp left and right when I turned a girl was getting down from dancing on the bar and I like to help them down so I reached out my hand to help and looked up. If you want to talk about divine appointments this scenario is the definition of the phrase.
Bee and I both made eye contact and squealed like little school girls as we went in for a huge embrace. After the embrace she looked at me still so giddy and said ” We’re taking shots!”
My reaction= the emoji with huge eyes that is blushing.
I used every excuse in the book why I couldn’t because I couldn’t tell her why I really could not have one.
(sounds like a line ole Dr. Seuss would use hm)
“Bee I would, but I don’t have any money!”
“Im buying them!” was her response.
Her response stirred something up inside me that I still think about because
1. She was working and her job was to get people to buy drinks so that her bar would make money. She could get in trouble for buying me a drink if her manager saw.
2. Her offering me a shot of Tequila was her offering me a gift because I was her friend. her friend.
I always try to accept the gifts that are given to me because if I don’t I feel like I am robbing them of the feeling the gift of giving gives you. Why do you think I am traveling the world for a year with no pay because I like the feeling of giving.
but as bad as I wanted to take the gift of tequila that Bee had offered me I wanted to honor the ministry so I didn’t accept it. I don’t cry often, but I cried over this scenario for one reason.
Bar girls try SO hard to get people to notice them and accept them to be bought because it is their job and they want to be wanted because that is where they find their value. Also if they don’t bring in business they get in trouble with their bar manager. Even though they try so hard to get people to buy drinks, or to flirt with guys so they will buy them they get denied a lot. You are probably thinking well that is a good thing that they are getting denied so then they aren’t being used just as a sex object. Yes that is a good thing , but have you ever put yourself out there in hopes of being accepted and you get shot down? I have and it sucks. That kind of feeling makes you feel not worthy. It is just a lose lose situation.
I felt like I denied Bee and I thought it might make her feel, that since I didn’t accept it, that she wasn’t worthy to be my friend. It ate me up and I am not one to dwell on things so it was weird to me.
I learned that night that gifts come in sorts of packages
and
I will try my best to accept every gift I am offered.
good news: God gave me the gift of having compassion for the bar girls that night.
OH and I got the gift of Bee telling me her real name, which is a BIG deal.
#Christmascameearly
Bee and I on one of my last nights out at the bars.
