** Step into my world for a moment. After my recent fasting experience with God (you can learn more about what God taught me during my fast here), I wrote myself a letter as a small reminder and a piece of encouragement for me to look back upon in life when these doubts and negative feelings begin to creep back in. I never want to forget just how real God has been to be and how much He has been working in my life. **
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October 17, 2013
Deanna,
I want you to never forget the past 65+ hours. You made a huge commitment to God to begin fasting with an undetermined end time. You have dug deeper into your past (specifically throughout middle and high school), you have relived those painful experiences, seen how God was present in the midst of pain, but was also able to see the blessings from God in the midst of each circumstance. You have been able to dive into the feelings that you came into contact with and in many cases have stuck with you into the present time. God has shown you many different passages of Scripture showing you truth to rebuke the feelings that were ultimately stemmed from the lies of the enemy.
The enemy has no place in your life, or mind. You have found freedom in Christ and the pain and feelings of loneliness, anxiety, shame, guilt, anger, lack of value, unworthiness, abandonment, fear and being unloved are no more. Christ has come and paid the penalty for all your past sins. He came to take away all the negative feelings. No longer is shame or guilt welcome. God has overcome those thoughts. You are free of shame. You are free of guilt. The spirit of anger is no longer present.
You are worth more than any jewels could ever buy. God desires to bless you, but in order for that to happen you have to believe it and then let Him in. You are important, your story is important and nobody can discredit your story. God wants you to share your story more freely. You have no idea how much your story may make a difference in the life of someone else. Do not be ashamed of it. YOU ARE VALUED. Your opinions and thoughts are valued. You no longer have to be fearful of being judged, for God is with you every step of the way.
You are loved and there is absolutely nothing more or less in life that will change the amount of love that God has for you. Cling to Him and rest in His arms to get refueled and refreshed. You have been given misconceptions about what love looks like and even a lack thereof from mere humans who are far from perfect. However, Gods love is steadfast and will never change. Pray against the spirit of comparison specifically in the area of outward appearances. You are loved, JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! That will never change.
You never have to feel lonely again because God is right by your side. He knows and sees the hurt and the pain, and in those times if you trust Him, He will carry you through. Abandonment is no more a part of who you are because God has taken you under His mighty wing. It is for freedom that Christ has set you free! You are a new creation that is filled with the Holy Spirit. You have been rejuvenated; you have been encouraged, you have been filled with the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23), and you have been intimately in love with your Heavenly Father. Remember what this intimacy has looked and felt like and experience it often.
ENJOY GOD. Take off any pressure that your relationship with God needs to look a particular way. God meets you right where you are, but He does require you to seek and trust in Him. LOVE, OBEY and TRUST. Let go of the steering wheel to your life and allow God to control. It is crucial that you let go so that God can use you and your story in ways that bring Him glory. You are growing a lot and I can just imagine God looking down at you and smiling from ear to ear. He is pleased with you. He is proud of you. He is excited to use you mightily for His Kingdom. You have a purpose and there is meaning to your life. “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)
The lies you have believed for so long are no more—for you have been filled with the truths from the Father. Never settle to be stationary in your relationship with Christ. Put God first and acknowledge Him in every situation, even praising Him through the storms of life. You are extremely loved and you are a daughter of the King who by God’s saving grace and mercy have found freedom and can now go on living every moment for Christ, filled with Joy.
Remember, let God take full control and TRUST in His perfect plan. Stay in love with your mighty maker as you continue to grow more in love with Him.
Love,
Deanna
