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At the beginning of this month I realized that I never truly surrendered everything to God that I was still trying to rely on myself to do mostly everything. I found myself getting so frustrated because I did not know what to do anymore. All I could think about were my worries, fears, anxieties and complaints.   I was ignoring the fact that God had been telling me to set Him above all in my life because I thought that my plan or my way of doing things would get the job done better or leave me feeling accomplished and full. God’s whisper was soft and sweet “My child, look to me,” He kept saying and still I would not look. 

 

 “Shall I Commend You?”

“Behold, is it a small thing that you should weary the Lord God Almighty with your complaints? Is it a light thing in My eyes that you walk in weakness when I have made full provision that you might appropriate My strength? Have you not insulted Me in that I have condescended to dwell within you, and you have set Me aside and quenched and grieved My Holy Spirit and walked in your own ways? Shall I commend you? Shall you escape My rebuke and displeasure? You look in vain for My smile. For you think in your heart that you can bring me some gift.

‘I will do Him a kindness,’ you have said, and you thought I would accept this devotion. Do not deceive yourself. God is not to be toyed with. ‘See,’ you have crooned, ‘I have brought you this basket of fruit.’ Cursed be the ground that brought it forth. Have I not required blood? But you have loathed sacrifice. And I have said I will have not of your pretty gifts, for God desires integrity, and to obey is better than all your vain attempts to appease.

Behold, I am angry with you, and not without cause. You have profaned My sanctuary with vain endeavors in the flesh. 

You do not come to Me in spirit and in truth; but you have set limits of your own make to check and hinder Me. You say you fear to offend; but I say to you, for the very hardness and willfulness of your own hearts, you will not yield Me control. You keep it in your own hands lest your iniquities are uncovered and your shame appears to all.

Lo, I will have none of it. I will come to you when you have humbled yourself. I will purge your sins when you put away your sham and hypocrisy. I will gather you to My heart when you shall cease loving your own self.

The days are short. Do you want me to come to you with a rod or in love?” 

(Come Away My Beloved, by Frances J. Roberts)

God was patient with me until He could no longer be patient, He took action. He woke me up and stripped me to my bones. He told me you have to choose–a life in complete submission to me or a life of relying on your flesh, a life of death.