I have been reading the book called “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan and as I reflected on how the race has helped me to have a greater understanding of what he is talking about in this book. I wanted to share what I’ve learned and how its help me shape what I want life after the race to look like.
As I sit down and gaze through the looking glass at my entire life as a Christian from accepting Christ as a young boy until I left for the world race, I am pained by the obvious lack of God in my life. I was on the fence with God, I only chose Him when it was convenient; I was LUKEWARM.
“I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, I will spit you out of my mouth! You say, ‘I am rich. I have everything I want. I don’t need a thing!’ And you don’t realize that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked. I advise you to buy gold from me-gold that has been purified by fire. Then you will be rich. And also buy white garments so you will not be shamed by your nakedness. And buy ointment for your eyes so you will be able to see.” (Revelation 3:15-18 NLT)
Once I left my parents house I only attended Church when it was convenient for my lifestyle and me. I never shared about my faith with people because I would tell myself “I live in America and it’s a free country, they can believe whatever they want,” but truthfully I didn’t even know God, I had no relationship with Him to share. My faith and my convictions were constantly compromised by what was popular rather than what was Biblical. I could have cared less about being saved from my sins, I loved my life of sin, and I just wanted to be saved from the penalty of my sins. I rarely gave money to the Church or charities because my bank account and what I wanted to spend my money on was more important. I can’t even count the amount of stories I heard of people who were walking out their faith and following Jesus but thought that it was too extreme for me. I judged my life based on the people around me and as long as I wasn’t the worst person around I considered myself to be Godly enough for heaven. Yea sure I liked God but I didn’t love Him, I simply loved what He had to offer me. I continually manipulated Scripture so that I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about my sins. I never gave God the opportunity to let me trust Him. I had everything in my life compartmentalized, separated and planned in a way that even if I stopped believing in God you would never be able to tell by looking at me.
Writing that paragraph was not easy, because it’s not easy to admit our faults. But it’s even harder to look back at that time and realize just how lost I was and I didn’t even know it, much less that I have friends and family who are there and they don’t know it either. Even harder still is thinking of how I was cheating myself out of knowing who God truly is! Matthew 22:37-40 tells us, “ ‘You must love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, ALL your soul, and ALL your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” This verse does NOT say love God with all your heart but if you are a little heart broken right now its ok to just love Him a little bit. We are asked to give ALL and EVERYTHING to God. I love reading Jesus’ parables and teachings in the Bible because I often times imagine Him putting His arm around me like He may have done with the disciples and explaining things just like my father would do with me growing up. There is one parable in particular in Luke 21 where a poor widow drops 2 small coins in the collection box and while rich men are putting in much more and Jesus says “I assure you the widow has given more than all the rest of them. For they have given a tiny part of their surplus, but she, as poor as she is, has given everything she has.” Jesus gave up everything for us when He was put on the Cross and all He asks of us is to love Him with ALL our heart, ALL our soul and ALL our mind.
We all know the parable of the sowing the seed. Throw a seed on the road and it will be blown away, throw it on rock and its roots will never set, throw it into thorny soil and it will grow only to be smothered by the thorns but throw it in good soil and it will take root and bear much fruit. Francis Chan says, “Do not assume that you are good soil.” I was not good soil; in fact I was the thorny soil! But the race has given me the opportunity to grow more into the man of God that I want to be but its taken months of pruning, brokenness and abandonment to get my relationship with God to where it is now. So I’ve jumped off the fence and I know what I want to give to my God in return for what He has given for me. No longer will I be lukewarm. But it is not enough to just live out this radical faith for a year around the world. When I get home I want to be the crazy, radical, drastic, extreme, intense, excessive, weird, unbalanced, overboard and BIBLICAL man God is calling me and all of us to be. It sounds much easier to say that than it is to live it out. I know that I am human and I have my faults and that I will always have areas of my life that will be lukewarm to some extent, no one is immune to all aspects of a lukewarm life. But there is a difference in living a life stuck in the things that keep us lukewarm and trying to live a life in accordance to God’s will for you life. There will always be enough grace from God to cover our mistakes and slips but (Romans 6:1-2) says, “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” I want to truly say with Paul that I “want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death” (Philippians 3:10). Jesus and His followers have always been considered radical, different and outcasts by the people of their time. So let’s be like Jesus and live radically, extremely and BIBLICALLY.
