I probably should have written sooner, but when you spend a month in a place with no WIFI, then it becomes difficult to testify to things you’ve seen and heard. (I acctually did write a blog during the trip, due to the kindness of one of my leaders, but due to my ‘butter fingers’, I accidently deleted all my words.)
You know it’s hard to remember all the certain aspects of a whole month. It’s hard to remember what God was doing and how He was working. Thankfully He is graceful to all of us. To write straight from my memory would be a falsehood. For the longer a memory lingers, the more it becomes dishonest to the true reality of the situation.
On one of the last nights before I returned home, I journaled in my journal. So to be honest, true and above all humble. I will transcribe the words, lessons and emotions as they were on that particular night.
– July 30th, “Our final group meeting is around 4’0 Clock pm, today, and we also have to do one final dance. You know, if I can survive mountian hikes, wild street dogs and chaotic traffic, then I can survive one last dance by the grace of God. I’m really feeling the fatigue of it all now. I’d like to say I’ve gone through this super dramatic change, but that’snot the case. Although God has imparted much wisdom and love to me. Through reading his word daily for hours, a practice I need to bring home. God has taught me humility, childlike faith and to submit to His divine plan. Beyond my limited understanding.
He’s taught me humility by showing me that I don’t know it all, and will never know it all. He’s showed me how arrogant and prideful I can be in certian circumstances, and to not useknowledge as a crutch to not show kindness to my fellow man. He’s taught me childlike faith by my interactions with the Guatemalan street kids. Lastly He’s taught me that a brave warrior submit’s to his masters will. No matter how dangerous or foolish it mayound. All these lessons I have learned and will continue to earn as I develope in the faith.”
On this trip I’ve seen beggars on the street, children with illnesses and poor people crying in desperation to the “gods” they worship. Seeing all this has left an impact on my w of the human condition. Many times on the trip I was angry with God. Often I would say to Him, “Don’t you see this suffering! Don’t you hear these cries! Don’t you care about this man/woman’s desperations?!” My grievances blinded me from the truth and my false humility blinded me from seeing the plan. God kept reminding me of this verse in Lamentations. The verse goes as follows.
Lamentations Ch.3 V.31-32 (NIV) “31 For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. 32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. 33 For he does not willing bring affliction to the children of men.”
“He does not willing bring affliction to the children of men”, that may not seem real, especially in these days of chaos. But like all the promises of God, they remain true and forever more will be true. As a group,every coup of soup we handed out, every hand we shook, every hug we offered was God showing compassion through us. We as a group were being the ‘hands and feet’ of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Much like the prophet Jonah I had anger, doubts and frustrations I couldn’t seem to shake. This passage was very similar with God and I’s conversations.
Jonah Ch.4 V.1-4 (NIV) “1 But Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry. 2 He prayed to the Lord, “O Lord, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. 3 Now, O Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.” 4 But the Lord replied, “Have you any right to be angry?”
“Have you any right to be angry?“. No I don’t. I’ve learned that an angry heart is the most ungrateful. For the man who’s angry thinks about nothing then himself. Even if a man’s anger is at the unsavory conditions of his fellow man, he’s still thinking about earthly things. Earthly anger is not one of righteousness, but one of self intrest. God blantnly taught me “gratfulness“. I have nothing to complain about. A warm bed, clean water, a stable invironment to live in, plently of job opportunites. All these I have, while many Guatemalans have not even the basics for life.
Yet even though they don’t have the basics, they still have smiles on their faces and joy in their hearts. You know why? Gratefulness. I saw children only have scraps for a meal, yet they had boisterous joy that would outshine any American child. I saw a homeless man with only dogs as companions, yet he shared the little food he with them. In these children and least of these, there’s power, there’s strength. The first shall be last and the last shall be fist.
Many of my fellow team members felt the Holy Spirit moving us in similar ways. It’s a blessing to be an American, even though America has her problems. She’s still the greatest nation on this earth currently. (Besides the blessed Israel.) As Americans, we have so many opportunities, even the poorest among us have access to food. I don’t know all the answers and I’m glad I don’t have too. But by God, I’m grateful for this land. I’m grateful for my home, I’m grateful for my opportunity. I’m grateful for my God.
As Americans we often overlook what we have, instead of overlooking lets just stay still and ponder our blessings. In humility there is strength, in childlike faith there is freedom and in gratefulness there is power.
(Thanks to all of you who supported this trip. Who funded this reality check. Through your donations, mouths were fed, bellies were filled, smiles were shown. Yet most importantly we as a team became the Hands and Feet of Christ. Thank you for your sacrifice, your dedication, your love and your honor. God bless you.)
