“What am I missing?” The thought felt eerily familiar as I trek across the seaweed strewn beach in the early morning hours. It’s month two of the World Race, and I’m starting to ask questions I’m a bit scared to answer. We’ve just arrived in Coquimbo Chile, a beach town six hours north of Santiago. My team arrived yesterday from the middle of the Atacama desert and checked into our Airbnb. Our hope is to stay in Coquimbo for a week, the longest we’ve been in one place since training camp in early January. I’ve started something new over the past week, trying to post to Instagram every day as a way of tracking my trip and sharing day-to-day life with friends and family back home. One thing has felt uncomfortably missing from my posts: ministry. We’ve trekked through mountains and deserts, sand dunes and dirty city streets, but most of our time is being spent together as a team or out exploring the city we are in. We’ve spent a little time painting at an orphanage and an exhausting but fulfilling few days with a pastor in the desert town of Calama. But other then that, I’ve felt like we were just traveling from place to place, trying to figure out what this whole Unscripted thing is. I’m having a blast and feeling more excited about life then I’ve been in years, but where is the missions part of this missions trip?
The truth is, if I’m being honest, I’m a bit worried. What am I going to tell all of those people at home who prayed and supported me on this trip?
“I had a great time traveling the globe and meeting people, but we kind of forgot about the “missionary” part.”
As I’ve continued to struggle through this, my best explanation has boiled down to the idea that I’m learning to live life differently. I’m not a huge fan of short term mission trips that claim to be “changing” the world during a two week period. The reality is that the world is starting to change me. It’s giving me eyes to see differently. Rather then starting my days with a to do list I am starting by asking the question, “Lord, what do you have for me today”. It’s tough because I’d like to share stories of conversations where God intentionally touched a stranger through me, but those have felt few and far between. Instead, most days I’m wrestling with questions like
“Should I be trying harder or putting less pressure on myself”
“Am I hearing God’s voice or merely thinking I am”
“Am I missing something or simply in the middle of a season I don’t fully understand”
I’m a doer. I want results. If I put the time in, I want a return on that investment. But the Kingdom of God is different then anything I’ve experienced before. I can’t simply work hard and see results, it requires patience, waiting, surrender, intentionality. It means that sometimes I won’t see or understand what God is doing until months or maybe even years later, if I ever understand at all. It’s truly living in faith. What I love about this unscripted life is that I’m learning something that will go far beyond the Race. I’m learning what it means to find intentionality in the day to day. It’s building habits of taking my struggles and fears to the Lord and asking Him to change me and comfort me. It means that I am trying to simply be obedient and trust that through obedience God will start to show up in my day to day.
A few things that I can confidentially say God has done in both my team and me over the past month:
We are learning to intentionally take an interest in people, having conversations, doing the simple things like getting people’s names, and seeking to follow God’s lead as we meet the strangers turned friends along the way.
My team is learning so much through community. We are being stretched and challenged to change. In a way, I would describe our biggest ministry in the last two weeks to be with one another, encouraging, challenging, and affirming our walks with God during this season.
We are learning to be travelers not tourists. Spending hours trying to find the cheapest place to eat because nothing else is in budget is forcing us to look for the local hang outs and neighborhoods rather then the typical tourist spots. For me, this is an invaluable skill to have as it drives you into the culture you are staying in, which can open up opportunities to connect with locals instead of isolating yourself as a tourist.
Finally, I am most thankful for the fact that we are being thrust into intentional living. We can’t rely on a ministry host or pastors to give us something to do. Any connections, community, or opportunity to minister to someone comes from having to seek it out. This has been incredibly difficult but so invaluable since this is how normal life is back home. By the end of this year I hope to see this becoming a regular part of my walk with God.
How you can be praying:
Hearing God’s voice:
Pray that my team would hear and obey the Holy Spirit as we do life here on the Race.
Connections:
We are wanting to make connections with people as we go, pray that the Holy Spirit would lead us as we go.
Faith:
Faith that God is going to use us even when we don’t see the whole picture.
Last but certainly not least: Intentionality
Pray that my team will live intentionality as we go through this race. It’s been a challenge so far but we really feel like the word intentionality has/is being spoken over us as team!
