“It’s the little things that build a beautiful life” – John Eldridge
I’ve faced an interesting conundrum as I’ve entered this season of travel. We go city to city, person to person, incredible moment to incredible moment, filling our weeks with endless possibilities of sights to see and experiences to be had. If we are being real, it can get exhausting. As we’ve gone I’ve found a desperate need to redefine how I rest. When everything is “once in a lifetime” kind of sights or experiences it makes one feel a weighty responsibility to every day. This is usually followed by a bit of a let down when you don’t feel ecstatic and filled with wonder after gazing at the tremendous beauty of the world you are blessed to see.
The truth is, my soul longs for simple moments of divine beauty, moments that define a healthy relationship with God. Less flashes of lightening, more of a quiet drenching rain. It’s the small moments with God in simple surroundings, being intentionally present, that have over time have had the larger impact on my walk with Him. I enjoy the flashes of wonder or beauty when they happen but my soul needs more of that gentle rain then it does dramatic lightening strikes.
What does soul rest really look like in this season? How do I find rest in the midst of such a nomadic lifestyle? For me, it means slowing down, letting the small simple instants of goodness be the defining moments of my daily walk. It means taking time to intentionally seek out the beauty, particularly in nature and the world we are living in. It’s stopping to ponder the trees against a cloudless sky, spending moments of quietly reflecting on the rain. There is a special refreshment and restoration that comes from watching God’s original entertainment. It is also defined by taking time to quietly release my troubles, struggles, and relationships to God.
Tuesday night was one of those release moments for me. Pardon my French, but I was pissed. I had a disagreement with some of my team and left the conversation feeling defeated, embarrassed and slightly ridiculous. “I’m supposed to be a mature adult, this isn’t how mature adults handle their problems” I thought. I was inexplicably angry, the kind of angry that makes you want to slam doors and make biting comments for no obvious reason. After becoming thoroughly irritated with everyone in sight, I retreated to the quiet stairwell of our hostel. I needed quiet and a moment to figure out what in the world was going through my head. As the silence set in I felt the quiet reassurance, “release it back to me”. It meant releasing my anger, my desire to be right, my opinions, my “wisdom” to God. It also meant forgiving people who I felt offended by. Allowing myself to trust that God could handle my issues and heal me in his quiet love. It meant throwing myself into his hands because I could no longer control my own emotions or fix my own brokenness. With tears ready to flow, I began to name the releases and verbally forgive those my heart had taken offense at.
That simple moment with profound implications allowed me to reset my perspective on my current life stage. Without it, I probably would have staggered through my week blinded by my own hurts and turning bitter towards the apparent silence of God. But this moment of encounter didn’t come on a mountaintop or beautiful beach, it came in a dark stairwell, at 1:30 am, in the quiet that time of night brings. It needed to come through a simple moment of being Fathered by the one who loves to slowly and gently mold me. Soul rest comes both in the appreciation of the beauty in our world and also in the release of our tensions, our fears, our relationships, our everything back to God. It’s been my saving grace as I’ve walked through a season of constant change and growth.
Where’s your soul finding its rest?
