Sometimes we’re starving for affection so bad we don’t even realize
the love and affection we’re being offered.
Manny is 6 years old and lives practically on his own. I don’t know all
of his story but I know that he is more independent than any other 6
year old I have ever seen. Actually, he’s too independent. I met him
while I was tutoring a math class. Each day he shows up to school, eats
breakfast and attends pre-school. After spending the first part of the
day at pre-school he heads down the street and around the corner to the
1st-5th grade school where he changes into his play clothes and roams
from class to class just wanting to be around people.
The teacher I was working with told
me that his mother died some time ago and his father works in another
province which is so far away that he can only afford to come home on
Saturdays. So the rest of the week Manny is mostly on his own. Once
Manny eats lunch with the students and has finished “roaming” he
collects scrap paper from around the school, mounts it on his shoulder
and heads several blocks down the street to sell the scrap paper for a
snack.
As I mentioned before, Manny loves to hang around people. A couple of
times I’ve tried to sit with him and just invest in him but Manny can’t
sit still for that long and honestly he won’t let you get close enough
to even give him a high five. It’s so different from all of the other
attention starved kids here. It’s heart breaking. Manny’s way of
obtaining affection is by working his little guts out. Even if it means
hauling buckets full o
f sand that weigh more than he does. All he wants
to do is be close by, no special attention, no one to watch out for him,
just for people to allow him to join them in whatever activity they
seem to be doing at that time.
Honestly, when I first met Manny I didn’t understand. “Why was he so
different from all the other kids in the neighborhood?” “Why couldn’t he
just sit still long enough for me to give him a hug or have him just
sit in my lap and play?” and then it dawned on me. Just like a lightning
bolt through the clouds, God spoke; “you act that way too, Catherine,
Manny isn’t all that different from you.”
Wow that took a bit for me to recover. Sometimes we’re so busy we
can’t sit still. We’re in too much pain to allow others to get close
enough to share God’s love with us. Just to hold us and love us just to
sit and be. To be with the people God has placed in our lives to love us
or to be with the God who loves us and is desperately trying to convey
it to us in any way he can.
To all of my friends and family back home, as hard as I know it can be,
just find the space, carve it out if you have to, to just be. Go find a
close friend or someone who’s been trying to reach out to you and let
them “in” on your struggles. Then sit in the presence of your Father and
let him hold you
long enough for you to receive his love.
