Spiritual highs are always a great gift to the one who seeks the Kingdom of God! They’re great opportunities God gives us through the Holy Spirit so that we can know more about who He is. Being able to see in the Spirit and being able to communicate with Him are always very eye opening and very humbling.
Then comes those days or weeks where it seems like your faith goes down, doubts come in and seems as if God is not around you at all! We get frustrated and start to question God about why He does what He is doing and then the feeling of loneliness hits! For some this seems scary and seems as if they have done something wrong.
Lately that is exactly how I have been feeling. My fundraising money is not coming in, I feel as if my faith has been going down a bit, and I keep asking God why He would put me through this and not be providing. If I can be completely honest with you, IT SUCKS! Why can I not just live normally like everyone else and finish off school!? Why do I have to go to school, work and then have God ask me to ask people to help out with fundraising!? It all seems crazy and non-loving in the human eye but in the spiritual eye its not that at all!!! Its the complete opposite!!!
A few weeks ago I visited my favorite church, Elevation, and Pastor Steven Furtick preached about King David coming to God with an anxious heart.
“I cry aloud to the Lord;
I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy.
I pour out before him my complaint;
before him I tell my trouble.
When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is you who watch over my way.
In the path where I walk
people have hidden a snare for me.
Look and see, there is no one at my right hand;
no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
no one cares for my life.
I cry to you, Lord;
I say, “You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living.”
Listen to my cry,
for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.
Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me.”
– Psalm 142: 1-7
First of all we see that David comes to God with complaints! UMMMMM King David are you sure you want to do that?! Yep he sure did do just that!!! If its me or anyone else I know we might be scared to do so but what a great example David has left us. God already knows how we feel so why do we try to hide it? Why do we try to hide the fact that sometimes we just want to come to God and talk to Him truly about how we feel? God does not want us to come to Him as if He does not already know what we are thinking about!!!
God on the other hand wants to hear us! God wants us to cry out to Him with our complaints not forgetting though to be thankful of what He is doing! He does not want us to come to him scared and shameful. He is not telling us to complain about everything in life but He is telling us to GET REAL SO THAT WE COULD BE SET FREE!!!
This made a huge impact when I heard it because God knew exactly how I was feeling!
I went on my knees and bam! I spilt it out! I cried out to Him in complaint like King David. “God it seems like my struggles will never end. When I overcome one thing there is another one waiting for me. Every single day I feel as if my faith is challenged and I keep looking around and I can not seem to find you!!! Why?! Why!? Why is this happening to me!?” As soon as I let it all out I felt as if a huge load off my back was lifted!
Well come Friday, Tasha Cobbs was releasing her new album and had come to Atlanta for a free event! Of coarse to my luck I had to work that day and so I knew that I would not make it in time to get a seat. Even worse, that day at work was extremely slow which made it even more dreadful! While there I prayed that God would send me someone to pour out His love on. So now I was stuck at work with nothing to do, an album release a couple of minutes down the road and my friends birthday party. To be completely honest it is not my scene anymore but because she is a great friend I knew I wanted to go spend some time with her. I unfortunately did not get a seat at the album release so I decided to go to my friends party. Once there, everyone wanted to go out to the bars so I followed along and to my surprise God showed up!!!
While walking to the bar there was an older lady asking for money but everyone kept pushing her off. I then walked right in front of her and she asked me for any change I had. I gave her what I had and told her God bless you but proceeded to catch up with the group. I thought I had done something good up until the Holy Spirit nudged me to go back because that was simply not enough. I of coarse was confused because I had whole heartedly given her what I could. He kept nudging and so I went back towards her and what I saw broke my heart. She was scrambling through the coins only to find out that it was not enough to buy her some food. I quietly came up to her and asked if she needed anything and she indeed told me that she had not had anything to eat the whole day. I not only got to pour out His love over her but I also got to learn a little bit about “Peaches” and most importantly got to pray for her!! (BTW remember I told you I had prayed that God would send me someone to talk to them about Him!!!!! BAM!!!! FREAKING AMAZING!!! )
As I walked back to find my friends I was overwhelmed by an inner peace I strongly needed! I don’t share this with you to lift myself up and for you to tell me good job. Instead its for you to see that when we are obedient to the Lord, He in turn pours us with His love! I could not help but cry! I cried all the way home because God knew how overwhelmed I felt with life! He knew that I was anxious with work, school and fundraising! He knew that I really really wanted to go see Tasha but He also knew that His daughter “Peaches” needed to eat!!
All this happened because He needed to be glorified even if it was right outside the bars! Right exactly where we usually think He would not be taking care of His children! That day I had only a small little breakfast but that night I felt like I had ate a full on buffet of great food!
“Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ – Matthew 4:4
When you are obedient to even something that might seem small, He rejoices knowing that you as His child is willing to loose what you want over what He wants!
Don’t wait to be sent out on a mission trip to go on a mission!
The streets you walk through are your mission!
The place God has placed you is your mission!
If your asking yourself why you feel so anxious its because your too worried and caught up on what your wanting to happen and not focused enough on what you actually need!
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” -Matthew 6:33
Yes I really need those $5000 to show up but if I focus on that I only give myself headaches! He who called me to this will in fact bring it into completion! It might not be on our human timeline or it might not be in this route but His perfect timing will be seen! All I can do is focus on Him, do my best with fundraising and when He calls me to pray for someone right outside of the bars then thats what I shall do!!
-hasta mañana iguana!
-David!
P.S. My first deadline is September 23rd of $5000! If you feel like God is leading you into donating, pray about it and just hit the orange tab at the top of this page! Below is a fundraiser I have started! If everyone Adopts- a – Box I will meet the deadline! Simply adopt a box and donate the amount on the box! (5= $5, 26= $26) Please continue to keep me in your prayers and again thank you so so much for partnering up with me!!! GOD BLESS!
