In December my small group leader challenged me to pray and study scripture about a word that I could speak over my life for the year. After much praying i felt that this year was going to be about blessings. Both being blessed and also being a blessing to others. I am going to come into the blessings that the Lord has for me, and that i will learn how to be blessed by others and be gracious about it rather than having a spirit of pride and shunning the blessings being poured out on me. I am also going to try and be a blessing to everyone, whether it be the little things or it be great, and to not do it for a my own glory or for acknowledgement.
I am trying to let the wall i have set up be broken so that God can work in me. I have set up a wall that is keeping me from truly living completely for God. I know that God has so much more for me than i can even imagine and that allowing this wall to stand i won't be able to gain full access to these blessings because i am leaning on my own understanding and not putting all of my trust in the Lord. In a similar way I am letting pride stand in the way from allowing others to bless me. I have trouble allowing others to help me in ways such as cleaning my house or buying me lunch because pride is telling me that i need to have everything under control and that i don't need help. Likewise pride is making it difficult for me to open up to others and letting them get to truly know me and my problems.
In a brighter sense I am also trying to be a blessing to others in everything that i do, whether I am the person that will sit there and listen to you or to make sacrifices for you. I want to be a person that can always be there for you no matter how big or small a problem, and someone who will not judge. Also when i do things i don't want any of the glory to go to me but towards God alone.
Through this trip I know that God is going to use me to bless others and that if I allow it, that He will bless me so much more than i could possible bless others. I know that I am going to face difficult times but as it says in Matthew 5:11 " Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me." but as long as i stay true to the Lord I will be alright. I also want to open up to people on this trip, to push pride and the wall it has built up aside and embrace you in fellowship. I know that God will bless me and everyone who i come into contact with.
Thank you for reading and may God bless you,
David Mergl
