This is written by my dear brother in Christ and it’s most of his testimony. Love you Matt!
The eyes open and the arm extends. We know what we must do, but we deny it to ourselves. We push down the inevitable. We reach for the snooze button, the magic button that buys us all a little more time when we think we need it. Providing us the opportunity to put off what needs to be done for just another five minutes. No harm right? Five minutes seems innocent enough, but how many times do we all usually abuse this luxury? We all take time for granted, and do so rather often. All the while assuming we can get to things when were ready. After all, we run the show, and things run according to our watch right? No! This ladies and gentlemen is a fallacy. Our time is not guaranteed, and we are not in control.
I had been living with my eyes wide shut. Getting them open would be a process; a three step process. I would be lead down the roads of pain and perseverance, onto the avenues of courage and commitment, and finishing on the main street of faith. This is the story of my personal revelation and execution of faith.
Step one began on the evening of March 21, 2008. This was not your average Friday night, at least not for me. Work was long and I got off around 11 pm and headed straight home. I was pulling the worst shifts in retail, the Friday night close and the Saturday morning open. My roommates were out and about, leaving me as the king of the castle for the evening. Tonight though, all I wanted to do was go straight to bed, and straight to bed is right where I went. My eyes were shut before my head hit the pillow, and they stayed shut until 2 am. Sharply I was awoken, and belted “BE QUITE” from the comforts of my bed. Our dog would just not stop barking, but I figured the pit-bull Capone was up to no good. Investigating a cat, a car, or maybe the roommates were coming in from a night out. Not sure what it was that had him riled up, but I knew he was separating me from my sleep. Then I heard the front door slam shut. Damn roommates I thought, coming home and being rowdy, don’t they know I have to work at 6 am. Next I hear them stumbling down the hallway towards the bedrooms, one of which I was in.
Now the human voice is very distinctive, and if you know someone good enough you can pick up on their voice, or the lack thereof. As I was sitting up in my bed marveling at all the commotion going on, I heard voices. They were unfamiliar voices, very unfamiliar. This is the moment I realized things were bad, really-really bad. I was unsure of what was happening, so I now got up out of bed and was standing in the middle of my room puzzled. In my newly acquired state of uncertainty, I was able to pick up on the fact that there were two different voices, and they each went into the bedrooms that flanked either side of my room. By my calculations it’s two rooms down and one to go. It was my turn, but my turn for what? I knew these were not my roommates and something bad was coming my way. During this awareness, time began to slow down and I tried to process what was forthcoming, and finally it clicked. That was not my front door being slammed shut, it was the sound of my door being kicked open! I told myself to buckle up, cause this is about to be a bumpy ride!
In only my underwear and shorts at 2 am on the 22 of March, 2008 my life was accelerated on journey down a one way street. This was all put into motion by the two armed men who have just kicked in my bedroom door and began beating me. I don’t use the term beating out of context either. I not only had a loaded revolver and loaded semi-automatic 40 caliber to my head, but I was getting hit in the face with the weapons as well. I spent roughly ten minutes with these men. Time spent getting kicked, punched, and stomped. Ten minutes is a long time under these circumstances. My life was threatened many times, and around the third minute of this experience, a heavy blow was dealt to my right eye brow. This was the literal start of my eye opening experience. The blow was dealt with the butt end of the semi-automatic gun and left a 4 inch Y shaped gash directly above my right eye. For the next 7 minutes, I had the task of watching my blood decorate every room and hallway in the house.
This experience ended with my head, face down into a pillow and a loaded gun to the back of my head. This is the moment the rubber met the road. It was going to be either life or death for me. The robber didn’t want to look me in the eye though. He was a coward, and I was courageous. I was not going to let him shoot me in the back of the head. If this man wanted to take my life, he was going to have to shoot me in face, not the back of the head. He would have to look in my eyes and see that I didn’t fear him. I pulled my head up from the pillow to face him, only to get hit with the pistol in the face again. He insisted I was not to turn and look at him or he would kill me. It was decision time, and I considered my options. Either do what I say and put your face in the pillow so I can kill you, or you turn around and face me again and I will shoot you as well. What a predicament right? So how did I persevere through this pain and horrible situation?
Step two began immediately after my bedroom door was kicked open. It involved a conversation, one that led to the courage and commitment that would be the sole reasons I made it through this ordeal. I suddenly had a split personality. I was living out two different scenarios simultaneously. I had too; this was not out of want, but out of necessity.
On one hand, here I was able to live in the present moment, dealing with the two armed gunmen in my home, trying to meet their demands and keep them as appeased as possible. I knew if I began to panic and lose control, they may as well. I knew my behavior would directly impact theirs. If I wanted to survive this epidemic I need to be calm, but I am just a man, one who reacts to the outside world and has emotions. And tonight, my emotions that were on the verge of spiraling out of control. I knew I had to keep it together, but I didn’t have the ability to do it on my own. I was in need of help, big help, and fast, very fast. At 2 am, in the middle of a home invasion, where did I look for help? I didn’t! Honestly thank goodness I didn’t have to look. I am ever thankful for the voice that came to my rescue.
On the other hand I was resting calmly, and had a overwhelming sense of peace inside of me. This stemmed from my conversation; a conversation with God. I have grown up in and out of the Church for most of my life and I was familiar with the teachings and followed some of them. I was a Christian who was on the fence. I knew of God, but didn’t know God. We didn’t talk, and I didn’t fully trust. I trusted in myself a whole lot more. To me: I knew it all, I had all the answers, and I knew what was best for me, or so I thought. I was reminded though, at this very moment, that all these things were false. God spoke to me, and He did all the talking! I figured now more than ever I needed to be quite and just listen. You know what? He had wonderful things to say to me. God reminded me of the promises He made to his people, His promises to me. He reminded me I was a child of His, made in His image and likeness, and even though I had strayed I was still loved and coveted by Him. So here I was getting beat up and down my house, and could have cared less. I was listening to God speak to me! He insisted not to fear these men and finally asked if I was ready to die. Was I satisfied with my life and ready to face my judgment? This is the moment God want me to speak and He begun to listen. This decision didn’t take long to formulate. I knew how big the stakes were, and I had to be honest. I pleaded no, that I was not ready to pass from this life to the next, and asked for His mercy and grace to be place upon me. I was not satisfied with the use of my time and talents up to this point. I knew I had been slacking and I feared God as I should have. I asked God to give me the courage to get though the current situation I was in. I acknowledged I was incapable of doing it on my own. In doing so, God showed me to myself. He elevated my spirit out of my body and I watched myself endure pain and suffering at the hands of man. I was assured that there were bigger plans laid for me and I was to reorganize my priorities. As I continued to pray passionately to my Savior, I asked for Him to send an Angel to my side or to remain with me and carry me through this ordeal. I simply surrendered, and said this battle belongs to the Lord. I needed major help and guidance to prevail through this disaster and assistance in guiding my actions. I made a commitment to God in this moment, a commitment I work very hard to keep.
So, as God loves to do, he proved Himself to me. He sent one to be with me, to assure me that if I had faith in God to preserve my life that is in fact what He would do. It wasn’t a situation where I was just pulled from the darkness and rescued. For me, God had showed me the way out, but wanted to test me along the way. He would test my resolve, my faith, ultimately, my commitment. If I was diligent, and had faith I would live, if I questioned and worried, well you know the outcome.
So as I mentioned before, the home invasion culminated with a showdown. The two men were ready to leave. One problem, they didn’t want to leave behind any living evidence of their crime. As I continued to pray to God, I heard the men discussing my execution. One didn’t care what happened to me, for him it was just time to go, for the other; he insisted I be laid to rest. So the taller, huskier man, who was impartial to my outcome, just left the room. Now it’s just me and the little one, who is unnecessarily hateful. With my face forced down into the pillow, I continued to rest in Gods promise. I knew I would not die. I believed, and I was unshakeable in this faith. As I felt his finger start to apply pressure to the trigger, I knew I only had mere seconds to do something, to disobey him and be obedient to God. I lifted my head and turned to face the man, to speak to him. He didn’t want to hear or see me. I was struck again and warned very sternly, that I would in fact be shot if I dared to lift my head from the pillow and face him again. So with the feeling of cold steel pushed to the back of my skull, I took the biggest leap of faith in my life. This was it, life or death, and there was no turning back, no time to think about the decision. I had to just let go and let God! In doing so I knew I would not be shot. Actually the Angel told me that if I turned around all I had to do was look him in the eye and speak from the heart. That’s what I did; I disobeyed him, and obeyed God. I raised my head out of the pillow, quickly rolled over, and locked eyes with my potential killer. I spoke very calmly and softly to him and told him he didn’t need to take me life, I was not worth it. That’s all I said to him. That’s all that I felt I needed to say. So now I just sat quietly and confidently in the bed, looking not at the gun pointed in my face with his finger on the trigger, but into his eyes, into his soul rather. Nobody made a move. I believe this was the final step of the test I was being put through. Would I break the silence and proceed to beg, or continue to sit quietly and trust in the promised outcome. I sat there for the longest fifteen seconds of my life. Finally he made a move. He grabbed a drawer that was on the ground that belonged to the dresser in my brothers’ room, and hurled it at my head. The drawer struck me in the side of the head, and when I looked up, he was gone.
I knew I had to exit the house, I didn’t want them to second guess themselves and come back to look for me. My faith hadn’t waned, but I knew it was time for me to leave the house. I knew I had to exit the bedroom and go down the hallway that I could not see was clear of danger. So I got up, ran down the hallway and went into the back yard. I made a phone call to my brother telling him what had happened, and I sat in the darkness of my back yard for about 60 until I was confident the coast was clear. As I reentered the home, I saw something, something that was very startling. It was my face in a mirror. I was in bad shape, and there was blood everywhere, all over my body. I was so unaware of the damage I had suffered. Still feeling the presence of God over me, I did not panic. I walked to the bathroom, grabbed a towel, wrapped it around my hand, and embarked on the five minute drive to the hospital. As I entered the emergency room, I witnessed all the shocked faces observing me in nothing but pair of basketball shorts walking calmly, fully covered in my own blood. I was immediately seen by the nurses and staff. After five hours, many x-rays and MRI’s, and about fifty stitches, I walked out of the hospital. The nurses informed me I was very lucky to have only suffered the damage I had. With the gash coming within a quarter inch of my right eye, loss of eye sight was very possible. My nose was spared and not broke in the process, as well as my eyebrow bone, which is very delicate I was told. Two years later I am just staring to get some feeling back in the right side of my forehead and scalp. There is no guarantee if I will ever get that feeling back to where it once was. There is only one guarantee in this life, His love NEVER fails and there is nothing we can do to make Him love us any less. Nothing!
Step three of my eye opening experience can be summed up with one word, faith. No less than two months after this experience, I left the comforts of all I knew and followed through on a contract I signed with the United States Air Force. My scar was still very fresh and fragile, but I had to follow through on my commitment. I would not let the actions of that home invasion break my spirit to live a positive and impact-full life. I have always lived a positive life, but it was usually all about me. I was good at feeding my own interests. This lifestyle could no longer continue. I had to keep my commitment to God, He kept His with me. I have made some broken promises in my life, most I am not proud about, but my promise to God is one I was not willing to break. I could no longer claim ignorance. I could no longer be on the fence in my walk with the Lord our God. It was time to choose the right path at that inevitable fork in the road. We all face it. It is so easy to make promises and commitments when we are faced with danger. We will agree to anything to get us out of the current situation. After a week, a month, a year, those moments becomes a distant memory, we become comfortable, forgetting who helped us and who we turned to. A lot of us treat our Savior like the friend we have all experienced. You know the one that only calls when they need something, never calling to just say hello, or check in on you, but only when they need something. Usually if this persists long enough, a divide is created and the relationship diminishes down to nothing. Most of us just won’t stand for a “one sided” relationship. Well that is exactly how many people treat God. We call on Him whenever we need something, when we are in dire situations and need help or assurance. Then, we get just that, and put God back on the shelf until the next problem arises. Its a broken system that produces minimal results and repeats itself over and over in the Bible. Still God is not like us, He is there every time, waiting, wanting, and seeking to have a relationship with you and me.
We are all sinners who are only saved by grace through faith. I was saved by faith. I am saved by faith. Faith is the undoubted whole hearted belief of what cannot be seen to be true, and to come true. The enormous leap of faith I took on the night of March 22 changed my life. It spared and saved my life. It has not been the smoothest ride since then either. Life is promised to be a bit bumpy, it cannot be custom ordered, that is just not the way it works. Faith has the ability to change your mind in a way so that you can see yourself through all situations. For me personally, the transformation has still been difficult. It takes an effort daily. We need our daily bread, and we need to have faith that it will be provided, not to store up in doubt. My life had been changed that day, but that change itself takes time to work out and develop. I have devoted my time and self to others in many ways, and can honestly say I take minimal things for granted. My relationship with God is growing, and has been for some time now. This time things are different though, the actions are sincere and done out of love. It takes faith to get through our lives daily in a fallen world, but I encourage you to keep it.
Most good processes develop out of three steps: the kindling, the spark, and the fire. My personal testimony is no different. We cannot continue to hit the snooze button in our lives. Most of us sincerely know what we need to do, we just don’t want to put forth the required effort and make the necessary sacrifices. Making that first step is always the hardest, but I encourage you to make it anyway. The snooze button always comes back to bite you in the end. If we can be honest with ourselves, we know it’s better to act than to lay in wait. What are you waiting for? The right time, your personal stars to align? They never will, and you are not guaranteed the very time you’re waiting for. Don’t play with fire; you most likely will get burned. I hit the snooze button for too many years in my life, and it was to the truth I already knew but didn’t want to embrace. For me, it took a truly eye opening experience to jar me out of my slumber, and awaken me. I am very thankful to be alive today, striving to make the most out of every day, staying humble and loyal along the way. Understanding who is really in control and who really deserves my time and worship. I pray that these words and my story do one of three things. May it help you identify the current state of your relationship with God, may it inspire you to take the relationship you currently have serious, to get off the fence and commit, or I pray that it will serve as evidence that God is at work and in control of all things, just wanting us to put Him first. He asks us to have full faith and trust in Him. Some of us don’t need to be shaken and others need a rude awaking, either for themselves or for those around them. This was my eye opening experience. In this and in all experiences we can and will have Hupernikao!
-Matthew Imschweiler
