At Training Camp nearly a year ago, I ate fish soup for breakfast. It was served during our Asian-themed day, and it was awful.
When I left Training Camp, I had some serious doubts about my diet on The World Race, but I didn't have any doubts about the way that I would be filled.
I was reminded of that breakfast last week when I went to a final breakfast with my friend and contact for the month of Vietnam, Ky. We were originally going to get egg sandwiches in delicious baguettes that Vietnamese eat often, but he instead invited me to his favorite breakfast place. The whole motorbike ride there, I was praying for no noodles.
When I saw the cart and the big tin soup containers, I knew I was out of luck, but I didn't know how much. Ky ordered in Vietnamese and I prepared for pork balls. Then out came the noodles — crab meat and three different types of fried fish. "And all for less than a dollar," said Ky, who later picked up the bill. I could hardly pick up my chopsticks.
***
Vietnam marked our halfway point on the Race. Somewhere in the middle of last month (and there were some heated disagreements about which day it was), we started counting down instead of up.
The week before I left for the Race, I wrote a blog entitled "What I'll Miss." I was feeling some fears about leaving home and wondering what my life would look like in a year. While I haven't yet hit the hardest month — our final four will be in Africa — I want to take space here to reflect on what my expectations were and what my reality has been.
What I haven't missed that I thought I'd miss
- I thought that I would be starving the entire time on the Race.
I have had some truly unfortunate foods — pork balls with cartilage, congealed pig's blood, partially fertilized duck egg (that means you can see the little duck embryo) — but for the most part, I have not gone hungry. We have also had Thai spicy fried rice for $1 and really good Western food within arm's reach at least once a month.
- I thought I wouldn't watch TV at all.
I'm not particularly proud of this, but I have watched every episode of Modern Family, 30 Rock and How I Met Your Mother from the current season. Maybe I should pray about that.
What I have missed that I thought I'd miss
- By far, the biggest thing I miss is my family.
It's not easy being away from your little brother's high school graduation, or from your older brother's law school graduation, or your older brother and both older sisters looking for new jobs. It's not easy to hear about new relationships in text messages instead of over a crystal clear phone call or a plate of spaghetti. It's not easy to miss holidays and birthdays.
But the Lord has given all of us strength as He has called me away.
What I didn't think I'd miss that I do miss
- I miss stability.
Everyone wants the thrill of an adventure. When you're on vacation, it seems like you should be spending two years on the beach or in the mountains, not just two weeks. Well, first of all, we're not on vacation. In my mind, there's no vacation in which you have to wrestle ants to eat your PB+J for lunch. Or shower with a bucket full of pond water. I thought that changing countries every month would be totally exciting, and it is exciting, but not totally — a lot of times, it's just exhausting. It's a lot of staying up late packing your bag and waking up early for 24-hour bus rides.
- I miss my past ministries.
***
At first, I slurped down the noodles as fast as I could and tried to smack my lips like Ky does to make him think I was enjoying it. I finished each spoonful of noodles with a swig of Pepsi. Then I slowed down and realized that I was enjoying the fish soup. Don't get me wrong — I would have rather had a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit — but it was sufficient.
Maybe what I miss least on the Race is my former self. I'm changing every day here, and I'm confident that it's for the better. Before the Race, I would get upset for such small things — like eating the same thing twice in a row. (In Cambodia, we ate the same thing every day.) Now, I still get annoyed at things that don't matter, but God is showing me how to have more patience and grace. He has been slowly stripping me of my insecurities and building up for me a confidence of who I am in Christ. He has taught me how to be thankful in every situation, including eating fish soup for breakfast.
I'm halfway home, but the work the Lord is doing in my life is just beginning.
