I have been downright moved by the study of Jacob and his whirlwind of a life. All through his life he displayed naming rights. My last blog I talked of one of the many name changes but this last one toward the end of his story is downright moving.
Jacobs wife Rachel was giving birth to a child that she waited so long for and prayed so hard for. This baby that would soon kill her because of labor complications she named Ben-Oni meaning son of my sorrow. You see Rachel had struggled so much with having children and much of her marriage she was jealous of her sister Leah who also was Jacobs wife. Leah had many children so Rachel struggled with thinking Jacob loved Leah more. (which he did not) but the thought that he did brought her much sorrow. So with her dying breath she named her son. Son of my sorrow, Ben-Oni.
Jacob didn’t keep this name he modified it through perspective. He named the child Benjamin. Which means son of my right hand. Meaning my son of authority, son of my strength; son of power. Benjamin did big things in the bible if you study him. Jacob refused to see sorrow and called it strength.
My family life has always been difficult. Growing up poor and being surrounded by what being poor brings and the many human frustrations through it. I often would beat myself up about it thinking we deserved the sorrow or through my own humanly efforts would try to keep it all together. It became my valley of self mutalation. (I would literally beat myself up about how I can change nothing)
You see our perspective of life can change so much and through this study and recent family difficulties, I’ve had and oppertunity to change how I see it and what I name it. So it was valley of self mutalation but has become the author of my God dependence. Nothing in my life has pointed me more to God then the difficulties my family has brought. I love them so deeply but more so than my deep love for them that love has brought me closer to God.
The Author of my God dependence. Rename your situation, your view of your trial can be the difference between a sorrow and a strength.
