I Have No Idea

So I’ve come this far. I’m two months in, I’ve seen India and Nepal, and now I’m in Romania. What’s come of it all and where am I? What’s different, and what am I working on? I’ve learned a lot about how I am a child of God called to be strong and take heart because the Lord is in me and with me. That I am good just as I am, and how I need to focus my eyes on the Lord, forgetting all the sin I’ve committed. I mean how can I fully seek the Lord and run towards him if I’m looking to the side and behind me at all the mess I’ve left in my wake. And what comes with focusing my eyes on God? Love.

If there is anything I want to learn how to seek more and more each day, it’s how to love the Lord with all my heart and then to love everyone around me. I’ll be honest, I eagerly want to see miracles and healings so God can manifest his power, but I’m realizing more and more that’s it’s not about those things. These miracles are only mechanisms used to prove God’s power, authority, and love so that those who experience them or witness them would come to know his son Jesus Christ. Can I honestly say I love someone if I’m not telling them about Jesus or loving them the way Christ has called me to? No, I can’t. The only thing we’re called to really do in this world is to love the Lord and love everyone else. If we do these two things the way God has called us to then I’ll be right with all my brother’s and sister’s in Christ and I’ll be actively seeking to praise his name and share the gospel with the nations. I want this love. There is nothing else worth my life. I know this in my heart and mind, but my actions are not reflective of this completely. But I know that as long as I keep this in my heart and mind and meditate on it, then my life can do nothing but reflect the love Christ has given me. Please pray that his love burns me up from the inside out and that I would want to explode unless I follow through? That is a dangerous prayer I know, but please pray it. Lecrea starts off his song Go Hard with the lyrics “Lord kill me if I don’t preach the gospel.” That is crazy faith. I’m scared to pray that, but I know it’s the kind of faith I’m called to, and I want it!

I have no idea what I’m doing each day when I wake up. This race will certainly break you of your need to control your surroundings. Every situation is an opportunity to praise the Lord, whether in conversation, preaching, or prayer. It’s time I stop thinking about things as if I’m looking out for number 1, and start looking out for the real number 1. P.S. that’s Jesus.

There are so many experiences I could write about from Nepal, but I feel the more important thing you want to know is what’s going on inside. So I apologize for not telling a bunch of fun stories, but there’s the nitty gritty instead. Thank you so much for reading these blogs and praying for me. It’s so awesome to know prayers and blessings are being laid before the altar of God on my behalf. I hope you understand what kind of an honor it is to be able to even pray to the living God.

By the way, I’m in Brasov, Romania right now debriefing with the rest of the squad. This place is beautiful, and I wish you could all see it someday. Thanks again and God bless. Take it easy.