This life is tough, seriously tough.
Whether you’re at home working to provide for yourself or a family or
out in the mission field, life is just tough. It’s dog eat dog out
there, which I’ve discovered is a real phenomenon in other counties.
We toil and work, we perspire and bleed, we yell and scream, we cry
and moan, we do it all just to get by. Just to get by? It seems like
we do too much and get not much in return.
We give all we’ve got and find at the
end of the day it wasn’t enough or just barely enough to scrape by.
So we start to get a little restless, a little uneasy, something’s
up. Something just isn’t right and we can’t seem to put our finger on
it. We’re doing what we’ve been told, we’re even trying to do it for
the Lord, but our mind seems to slip. And as we fall we start to
think about what those other guys are doing over there. They seem to
be getting it. They seem to be prospering and things are going great.
What’s their secret? Why can we get a little of that? WHAAM! We hit
the ground and jealousy bleeds out. But this isn’t a minor cut, you
can’t just wipe this one and slap a bandaid on it. What we’ve got
here is a serious flesh wound. We’re going to need a doctor for this,
but we can’t seem to remember the way to the hospital. So we sit here
in our jealousy as it pours out of us, and we cry and moan for
ourselves. Oh, why did this happen to us? How did we even get here?
How do we get out of this pool of pain? When those around us try to
help us up we turn away in shame and stare endlessly into our own
pool of jealousy widening around us. It’s all we can really see
anymore. We don’t even seem to really remember what the ground looked
like before we fell. Someone passes by to help us up, but like the
others we turn him away, except this guy doesn’t give up asking. He’s
wearing something different then the others, but we don’t recognize
it at first and he keeps asking to help us up. This is really
annoying. We wish he would go away. He’s standing in our pool now,
he’s close enough to see more clearly. He’s a doctor. Come on man,
can’t you see what we’re dealing with here? This pool is like an
ocean! He reaches out his hand, and a flash enters our mind of a time
before we fell, it’s those other people who were prospering. Maybe
this doctor knows those guys. Finally, we’ve made up our minds. We’re
sick and tired of sitting in this filth, we want out. We grab the
Doc’s hand and he pulls us out onto the clean ground, where our wound
seems to have healed up. We feel our strength return as the Doc grips
our arm firmly. As we walk away from our pool our joy returns to us
and we feel anticipation for what’s coming further down the road. The
Doc lets go, takes a step away, turns and says “Follow me.� How
can we not follow our hero? And as we follow him down a new road we
suddenly find ourselves in the midst of the those other guys.
Remember, those ones we always wanted to be? The Doc stops and says
“Stay here with me.� So we do.
Cute story right. We’ll this was my
experience this month. Jealousy will eat you from the inside out and
murder any option you had of doing anything worthwhile. Jealousy has
been one of my biggest enemies on this race and one of the enemy’s
best tactics. It all stems from selfishness and comparison. What do I
want? Why are they getting more than me? WHO CARES!? The Lord didn’t
call me to live a life of luxury and happiness. He has called me to
love others the way he loves, which means being selfless and putting
others first, to be happy for those the Lord is blessing and find joy
in our suffering so His will is accomplished.
Walk with me on this. We are not our
own. We were bought with a price. We will no longer live this life
for ourselves in anyway. We will walk with the Lord and let Him lead
us into His promised land, which on earth may mean serious strain,
but everlasting joy and rest in heaven. Take it from a guy who has
been there and messed up big time. Imagine all those around me who
could have known or felt the Lord through me, but were denied that
experience because of my own self-absorption. And don’t tell me I’m
being hard on myself because this is heaven or hell we’re talking
about, and that isn’t something to mess around with. But let me tell
you the best part. Whether you know the Lord or not, He’s always
there, and He’s reaching his hand out into your pool, no matter what
it is. I grabbed His hand this month and he set me free. I found
peace. And when I found his peace I literally felt like my eyes were
opened and I could see clearly again. I felt like I had been looking
at all the people around me through some kind of haze, and when it
lifted they came back into focus. Finally I could be useful to the
Lord and those around me. I wanted all of you to know this so if you
find yourself stuck, you’re not alone. I went through it and I’m sure
I will again. Just turn to Christ and ask for peace and joy to be
returned to you. He’s more the able and willing to give it, as long
as you give up yourself to Him. Christ doesn’t want our efforts, he
wants our hearts. Stop trying and try surrendering. I promise you
will find something unexpected. I love you and I hope this hit you
where it hurts, in that place you’ve been running from, so now you
can give it up. Lord, give me peace.
