Home

“Home is where the heart is.”

In college, had you asked me where home was according to this adage, I would have listed off a dozen countries, stating that they all had stolen a piece of my soul. Home was wherever I felt independent and free, where I was able to explore new places and ideas and develop thoughts for myself.

Fast forward a few years, and home became wherever Clementine, my cat, happened to be snoozing at the moment.  Parts of my heart were still scattered across the globe, but I had accepted that this would always be fact.  Clem held my heart and kept it tucked between her furry white socks (though she’s always been willing to share a bit with Dave!).

On the race, the concept of home has been challenged.  Little at home in the States will be as it was before I left.  I no longer have a house, a job, a permanent landing place.  Surprisingly enough, this hasn’t been overly difficult for me.  What has been hard are the consistent lessons that keep being thrown my way, the lessons that remind me that my heart needs to be fully placed in my heavenly Father.  That He is to be my home.

This past month, I realized that the concept of comfort has become an idol.  I’m ready to regularly wash my hands with soap and running water.  I’m ready to smell clean; to get out of the shower and be able to walk on bare ground.  I’m ready to wash my clothes in a washer more than once a month.  This desire changed my mindset from “11 months is a great place to start to leading a life fully for God” to “11 months should be enough.”

But this awareness hasn’t sat well.  As much as my flesh would argue, I don’t want 11 months to be enough.  I feel like I’m finally beginning to recognize the sacrifice that must take place to live for Christ.

This doesn’t mean you can’t live for Christ while having creature comforts.  It does mean that you can’t place those above Him or make them your greatest desire.

So where is home?  I am still learning the answer to that question.  God has been teaching me so much over the past seven months, teaching me lessons I didn’t know I needed to learn.  And the more I learn, the more I realize how much more I need to discover about who He is and who He’s created me to be.  My prayer is that my heart would become more and more grounded in Him as I continue on this journey toward home.

"Teach me your way, O Lord,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name."
    Psalm 86:11