training camp ended on sunday. i spent two days driving home. i’m home now.
rewind a week. one of the activities of training camp was a hike which was representitive of carrying our burdens to the cross. the hike was about 5 miles long, and the last half was uphill, where a cross awaited us. we were free at that point to lay our burdens at the cross, and be free from bearing them any longer. one of the several things that was weighing heavy on my heart that i needed to give to the Lord was the responsibility i felt for the students at GHBC.
we wrote these burdens on pieces of fire wood, but about a quarter mile into the walk, i knew that the burden weighed heavier on my heart than the wood showed, so i found a log on the side of the hill. lying at my feet was a log that genuinely looked like a sheep, and i felt that as their shepherd, it’d be right to symbolically carry them to the cross. but, as i cried out to the Lord, he answered me. “Dave,” he said, “you don’t have to carry anyone to the cross…i carry you there. i carry them there. i’m the good shepherd, not you.” i realized then that our God and king was the one making the hike, and i was that log resting on the shoulders.
several miles later, that burden was lain at the foot of the cross.
two nights later, word made it to me that the youth leaders and students at my church had found out that i was leaving. i had wanted to tell them, and i ached for them. but God demanded that i remember that he is faithful, that he is the Good Shepherd, and that i no longer need to carry the burden of what will happen to the youth ministry or the students. instead, he has given me the ability to grieve with the students, and even in my brokenness, to maintain his joy.
“freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.” -kris kristofferson
i have nothing left to lose. it’s all at the cross. i have a world to gain, but not for my glory, for His. students, i love you, and in that love, i entrust you into the hands of the only one whose hands you should have ever been in.
