Jo’Burg is home this month. and it’s scary because it feels like home. it’s comfortable, familiar and natural. but because of that, everything i thought had changed in me – the struggles i battled each day, the wants, the materialism, the discontentment, and so much else – are showing up again making me realize i haven’t changed as much as i hoped i had these last eight months. but as i watch myself fight through these heart battles, i think God’s giving me an opportunity to see what areas still need work so i can fight hard as we finish africa and head into romania, ukraine, and another country in europe.
but even in the midst of comfort and familiar, we’ve been able to get into the midst of some really cool ministries. it’s really humbling to approach these ministries knowing we’re not really going to be the ones producing lasting change, but instead, we’re just catalysts for locals to carry out the work we’re getting involved with.
most afternoons we get out into the streets. we pass out sandwiches or soup to homeless men and then to teenage boys living on the streets. (for the record, they eat chicken heart and neck soups or peanut butter, syrup and butter sandwiches…just thought you’d like to know.) i’ve connected with one man, who i’m gonna call sawyer to protect his identity. he’s from the UK, and he and i have walked most of the city together talking about everything from the Allman Brothers to Joseph Conrad novels to scandalous grace. he and i are so different, but in those differences, there are so many similarities. he needs friends. he needs to be able to talk about life. he doesn’t care where i’m from or what i believe, he just wants to be loved.
after time with him most days, we move on to the street kids. most of them are heartbreaking stories because they almost all have homes they can go back to any time – five minutes from where they live on the streets. the streets offer them brotherhood, no accountability, and money or drugs. but the saddest part is, they love to hang out and talk with us. they love to tell us stories, talk to us about soccer, make fun of america (a really common trend around the world, p.s.), and pray with us (sometimes it’s mocking us, sometimes it’s not).
the relationships come slow and steady, and it’s made me ask the question a lot, can you help someone who doesn’t want to change? christ brought change with him just by bringing grace to the “gutter.” (BOOK SUGGESTION: “The Gutter” by Craig Gross – founding pastor of xxxchurch.org) an example. “shoes” is the boy pictured below in both pictures. there hasn’t been a day yet where he wasn’t high as i’ve ever seen. not one. most days he can hardly walk, and he definitely can’t talk most days. he eats more soup than any of the other boys, and for a 16 year old boy, he’s lost. but every day we go and try to love him and show him we care about him. we try to convince him to stop using the glue, but he doesn’t. some people might say our love is condoning his behavior, and i think that’s silly. a year ago i wouldn’t have, a year ago i would’ve really tiptoed along that line…but now i think love and grace are the only things that really change people. right now i think that i’m completely willing to let people abuse that love and grace, if for no other reason than for me to show them more.
i don’t know that we can tell you any stories of God radically changing any of them. in fact, we’ve seen a few of them go to prison or get in bad fights the day after we thought we’d spoken truth into their lives. but Christ got into the gutter. Christ spent time with the forgotten ones and the “least of these,” so i will too.
this month i finally learned that being in His presence around people is way more important that doing anything in their presence…
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Should you decide to follow Jesus, you’re looking at blood, sweat, and tears.
Peace and happiness are merely by-products.
-craig gross “starving jesus”
