As the days go by and realize there are only 40 days before launch, I start feeling a little anxious. I believe this is a natural feeling because otherwise I would not be human. Despite the feeling, I still have an overwhelming peace of mind that God has given me. I also remember that I decided to trust him with everything.
Philippians 4:6-7
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
People ask if I am afraid or if I have changed my mind regarding the mission trip. I respond by saying that I am not afraid nor have I changed my mind. if anything I am more ready than the first day. I am not doing this for me. It would be selfish to have such mentality. I am doing this for the Lord. He has commanded me to go and spread his Word and Love which is what I plan to do.
When I begin having feelings of discouragment or anxiety, I have to cast those feelings away and always remember the WHY. I ask you please do not doubt what I am doing because I DO NOT. More than ever my heart is open wide and ready for the journey ahead. I am ready to do the work God has set for me to do. Ready for the world to hear how awesome He is. He is my priority at this time and all I desire is to please him.
Psalms 96:3 NKJV
“Declare His glory among the nations, His wonders among all peoples.”
Some people think I am crazy for being away from home 11 months. Not only will I be away from home. I will be away from my loved ones. I will be out of my comfort zone, no independence, no freedom to do what I want to, and away from my the comfort of my bed. I will be jobless and pretty much living on a very small budget. I will be limited to showers at times. Sleeping situations unknown. My meals are not going to be the greatest at times. And so much more I will discover. I will definitely be stretched and tested. But with all this being said, there is no doubt on my mind. I love the fact that the Lord is giving me this opportunity to join beside him. My God has been so good to me since day one of my life. How could I not repay him back by doing what he wants me to do.
Life has not always been pretty. There were many times that I felt lonely, unworthy, and wondered what the purpose of my life was. From a young age satan had put lies in my head and I was so vulnerable that I grew up believing them. He had also put hatred, unforgiveness, resentment in my heart. These things I know now are lies and feelings the enemy gives us. He wants us to feel defeated and knows if he has control he will win. He knows there is greatness out there for each and every one of us. If you continue to allow the enemy to have power you will never see your blessings and know what God has for you. Believe me I know. Get rid of negativity in your life and start thinking optimistic. Only then you will see how life is so much better. It will not be easy and may cause pain, but it will all be worth it.
The moment I finally decided to surrender my control and self to the Lord, I began seeing all the amazing things that had been present the entire time. It was like some chains and blindfolds came off. I bagan feeling an amazing sense of peace and joy. When God confirmed that this mission trip was what he wanted me to do, I felt so fulfilled. I finally realized serving him is the purpose of my life. When people see me smiling and ask why I am so happy I tell them GOD IS GREAT. I do not know how else to say it.
He is my WHY I am doing what I am doing. If God has me here, it is for a purpose and I will set to do his will. By no means am I perfect and may fail in the process, but my GOD never fails. He is PERFECT.
Do not let anyone tell you that you cannot do anything. You are God’s child and he has created you to his perfection. With God anything is possible and until you start believing in yourself you will not see what you are capable of.
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
Until recently I have started seeing the authority God has given us. He gives us FAITH and POWER to change situations. I can tell you it is real. I have experienced the authority we have and given to us. If I could tell it all here I would, but there is not enough space and time. These are reasons as to why I am most excited to see what else God has for me to learn. If all this makes me sound crazy, so be it. I do not mind looking like a fool. I began it the day I believed in a God that I cannot see. He has been so good and I refuse to deny him and keep quiet.
I THANK God for every single one of my supporters that is with me through this journey. May God grant you the desires of your heart and may he BLESS you always. Know that without you I would not be taking this new journey. You have made it possible for me to experience some things I would have never thought possible. In every single way know you are treasured. I do not take any of you for granted. Thank you for being part of me.
FORGIVE, LOVE YOURSELF, AND LET GOD TAKE CONTROL
