“Darlene, this wanderlust you have. Why is it there? What are you searching for?”
A great friend of mine asked me that one time. Why do we search for things? We search for them because we are longing for something that is not already there. These are the things that i’ve spent A LOT of my life searching for, so far.
1. An amazing relationship with God.
2. A great career that allowed me to travel and support myself.
3. Friends to last a lifetime.
4. My family to be content and happy with life, free from worry.
5. A boyfriend that loves me with all of his heart.
These are the main points as to what I believed would make me FULL inside. They would fill me up and be that missing puzzle piece that I needed. Well, I can honestly say i have ALL of these things and yet, i’m unsatisfied.
I’m unsatisfied because EVERYTHING i’ve wanted out of my life has been for me and my reasoning. Since when did I let it become all about me? And yet, here I was before training camp.. sitting here.. writing blogs.. trying to explain to people why they needed to SEND ME to 11 different countries in 11 months because I WAS MISSING SOMETHING.
Yes, i’m missing something.. THE POINT.
The point of all of this is not about me, it’s about them.
It hit me as I was sitting in one of those presentations at training camp. They were having a few of the members act out what it would be like to take on a role as an orphan. An orphan that was abandoned, lost, and broken in every way and it HIT ME. God has granted me all of my wishes and there are some people in this world that wouldn’t know the first thing about having ONE thing go their way.. and here i am, talking about missing ONE puzzle piece. So in that moment all i wanted was GOD to SEND ME.
I want him to send me so I can be even just one answer to one person. .even if that’s in a hug or a kiss or a smile. Not for my reasoning… but for THEIR life. The life they deserve to have and just the knowing that it is possible to feel FULL.
Since i’ve gotten back from training camp, I’ve gotten a lot of education from people that love me that they are worried about my well-being in EVERY way. I want everyone to know my heart is in the right place on this trip and i will be just fine 🙂 I love all the concern from my family and friends.. But you guys, look at our lives? We are SO blessed. Let me go out and try to be a blessing onto others. Trust in him and me, we will be just fine!
God is good all of the time. Hope everyone has an amazing week! xoxo
