Posed photos like this used to either make me either cringe, roll my eyes, or judge:
Ones like this:
And this:
Don’t forget this:
This is the ugliness of my heart: Ok, ok, short-term missionary. I get it. You’re 20-something years old, you went to a poor place and saw kids that have different skin than you do. Congratulations. What did you actually do there? Do you even know their name? Their story? Call me when you learn their language. Anyone can take their iPhone or DSLR and have a field day. How many likes did you get on Instagram? I bet it was a hit on Facebook. Please, again, tell me how #blessed you are.
Hellooooooo, judgement.
Cynicism, party of one.
This is assumption at its finest VIA Darcie Nicholson.
Don’t worry, I’ve repented. But, that was my mindset for a long time.
Authenticity is so, so important to me. I cannot stand it when people do things only for pictures. My little soul cringes inside and judgement peaks when teammates expect me to take a photo of them with a kid or local they don’t even know. It seems unauthentic to me. For the past 7 months on the race I intentionally never brought my camera to ministry either at all or until the last week when relationships were strong and photos I took were real, rich and authentic.
Even social media is hard for me. I get super self-conscious with what I put out there – I don’t want people to think I’m posting empty pictures. I’m not like the rest of them, I think (hello, pride). I’m in to real relationships. I’m in to showing Christ to people who can grasp it. Be real and make disciples.
Because of this mentality, holding babies, tossing toddlers and taking selfies with kids have always seemed like total Christian-girl copouts to me. You’re not making disciples, you’re boosting your ego. You’re not having real conversations or taking risks for the kingdom. You’re taking the easy, self-glorifying way out. You and your Uganda hashtags don’t fool me. My self-righteous internal dialogue is just the greatest.
Then we got assigned to ministry in Cambodian slums this month. Oh, shoot.
Each morning we go into villages and slums to build relationships. I don’t speak Khmer. The translators are preoccupied. Due to genocide, Cambodia is a nation of children. What does that mean? That the only thing to do is hold babies and toss toddlers. I think I’m going to vomit. I don’t want to be one of those girls.
Something needed to change. Our ministry wasn’t going to. So? The Lord had to change my heart. And that He did.
Due to extreme neglect, many Khmer kids we hang out with go unloved and overlooked by their families. Many are abused. It’s obvious. Many are naked. That’s even more obvious. Many are hungry.
I see it every morning. But that’s just physically — I can’t begin to think of what’s going on mentally, emotionally or spiritually. It’s messed up. They want to be held. They need to know they’re worth attention, time and effort.
Yeah, but I’m only here for a month. What can I actually do? The Lord keeps replaying scripture in my head: let the little children come to me. I have come to bind up the brokenhearted. What you have done for the least of these you have done to me.
Darc, lay down your pride. Stop assuming. Be obedient.
I’ve been given knees – I can get on their level.
I’ve been given hands and arms – I can hug, hold, high five and soothe.
I’ve been given a mouth – I can smile and laugh.
I’ve been given a voice – I can affirm. You are loved. You are worth it. You are beautiful.
Also, I’ve been given a camera. My supporters funded a snazzy Canon for me before I left. I didn’t really believe it before, but taking photos is a way to make others feel loved. I never saw it as a way to show kids that they’re worth a photograph — I just saw it as a way for Americans (typically Christian girls on social media) to say look at me. No; it has the ability to give locals healthy attention that they likely lack. The joy that I’ve seen swell up in children when they see their face on a screen is completely precious. The parents started asking me to take photos of them and their kids. It’s a medium of blessing.
When done with a selfless heart, photos have the ability to show others Christ’s love. I never really saw it that way. On social media there’s never a need to post and boast, but at the same time I think it’s possible to genuinely share your story with others by sharing these photos.
Authenticity. That’s what it boils down to. That’s where my inner cynic can take the bench and my heart is changing. Hallelujah. Because that stuff in italics before was ugly, yeah? Yeah. I’m all for authentically showing and sharing Christ. I’m not the judge on authenticity and to think I was is prideful.
So there it is.
Hold babies! Toss toddlers! Use your DSLR for the Kingdom. Whip out your iPhone and take selfless selfies. Hashtag blessed.
Show and share love however you can, because it is a good thing.
Cheers to Christians and girls and missionaries,
Darcie
