Well – it is 1am for me here in South Africa and I just cannot seem to go to sleep. It is really cold here and even with my winter clothes on and the heater on … I just cannot warm up. I don’t know if it is nerves about being alone – or what it might be … but I am not sure that I am going to get to bed tonight!
So, I will tell you all about my week at home! I mentioned this in an earlier blog – but as soon as I got to the airport, I was flooded with emotions and nerves. It was weird to walk through the same doors that I walked through when I was leaving 5 ½ months ago. I could almost see my family standing at the end of the hallway – telling me goodbye for what we thought was going to be 11 months. I cried really hard when I saw Dad and he told me that Pepaw had already gone on and then to top it off – my backpack (which by the way is carrying everything in it) did not arrive! I was exhausted from the trip and emotionally exhausted too – trying to rush home and wanting so bad to make it before he died…and all that my mind had been thinking about over the few days before getting home. It was a real comfort to see Dad and to hug him. We went to the car and my Dad was taking an unusually long time to get in the driver’s seat – and I heard him rustling around with something in the middle … but I did not even hardly open my eyes to see. Next thing I know – he surprised me with (still hot) homemade chicken-n-dumplings and a fresh pitcher of sweet tea!! J It definitely made me feel a little better and made the 2 hour ride down to Groves a little more enjoyable.
Although Pepaw passed away on a Thursday – we did not have visitation until Sunday because my very pregnant and adorable cousin Kim (who owns a local dance studio – the one my sisters and I grew up in) had her recital on Saturday. The family all gathered together at the funeral home at noon on Sunday so that we could all see him together before the visitation that evening. We all sat around for about 2 hours just talking about how great Pepaw was/is and we watched the video slide show of pictures that was put together for his service. After lunch, Mom, Dad, and I headed up to my childhood church and I recorded the songs “Old Rugged Cross” and “He Touched Me” to be played at the funeral. And, I recited “The Donut Song” – this silly song that my Pepaw sang to us at least once every single time we saw him. None of us could ever forget that song or the way he sang it – or especially the reaction he gave every single time he sang it. He could hardly make it through the song because he was always laughing so hard…it always ended with his legs up in the air, as he would throw himself back in his recliner and laugh and laugh and laugh!! The visitation was beautiful and I saw so many familiar faces and it was a breath of fresh air after being gone for so many months. Many of my very best friends came in to be there with me and it meant SO MUCH to see them and just to catch up on life with them. A family friend was hugging me and crying and she said “I was so sad to hear about Pepaw because all I could think was how much your grandparents were everything to this family. They were y’alls life.” The realization made me cry as I thought about how much Memaw and Pepaw mean to my family. They were truly the center and the staple in our family. There are not many memories of my childhood and growing up that do not include my Memaw and Pepaw – or just being at their home. Pepaw’s funeral was beautiful – my sister, Ashli gave the eulogy and it really captured everything that my Pepaw means to our family. It was truly heartbreaking to say our last goodbye to him as a family and it was a beautiful picture of what my family means to me. All 30+ of us just wept and hugged each other and it was amazing to look around at what an impact this man had on all of us. I said this in an earlier blog (I think) – but I know that my parents have seen the impact and the relationship that Memaw and Pepaw had on us…and it makes them great parents and grandparents. And, they have made each of the grandchildren want to strive to have the kind of family we have. I am SO LUCKY and BLESSED to have the family that I do and to have the relationship with my cousins and aunts/uncles that I have…I truly think that my family functions the way a family is supposed to. It really is amazing how much we love each other and even like each other too! I think one of the most beautiful things about Pepaw was seeing the reaction of all the men in my family who are married in. They were all just as heart-broken as Pepaw’s blood grandchildren – and it just goes to show the kind of love that man had for us…he made every single one of us feel special and loved. There is something beautiful about watching a grown man cry over someone – and even more special that it was an 87 year old man … who loved and poured into each of those men.
After the funeral – we went to Memaw & Pepaw’s next door neighbor’s house 
and had lunch there. It was SO GOOD to have tons of homemade food and just to have all the options. I tried to restrain myself as much as I could … but it was hard. The family ended up congregating back at Memaw & Pepaw’s house (this is the home they built – and it is where our family has always congregated), and just sat around enjoying each other….which is exactly what we have always done at that house. We took a family picture in front of the tree in their front yard … and I know that Memaw and Pepaw were up in heaven – smiling at seeing us all together! We were there for several more hours before we had to head back to Houston to drop Ashli off at the airport. The next day I decided that I wanted to spend my last full day in America – relaxing and doing what I love best – being with the kids! I LOVE THEM! There is just no other way to say it – they are amazing and I am crazy about them. I loved being woken up again by the sounds of Cason & Mackenli talking / singing in the morning and watching Ryleigh laugh and try so hard to crawl. I feel like having had that time at home with them was really refreshing and is going to help me give my all for the next 5 ½ months! I told my Mom that after getting to see all of them and hold and kiss the kids – I feel like I can pour all of my heart into the rest of the trip and really live in each moment. Even if I don’t get to talk to them but a few times over the next several months – I know they are waiting for me at home and I know that I can be actively present in all that I do for the rest of my time on the race.
Just a quick little story about how good God is. Not sure if many of you know this about me – but I don’t really like being alone. I only like it when it is something I choose – and that is because I need alone time. But, I don’t like having to be alone with no choice. This past week was a lot of time alone – sitting at the airport alone, going back to the hotel alone … flying alone…etc. God in His goodness … gave me a friend this past week. Her name is Jill and during all the mess of the original flight to Atlanta that was cancelled – many of us became friends. In particular, I spent time getting to know Jill. She is from England and was going to help her daughter pack her stuff to move back to South Africa. Jill was so sweet and caring when I shared why I was going home. We met up at the hotel and then chatted for a while before actually flying home. Well, believe it or not – I saw Jill again yesterday! She and her daughter were on my flight back from Atlanta to South Africa! J The first thing she told me was that she had been praying for me and she asked me how Pepaw was doing. She was such a blessing and I am thankful that for a few days, God put her in my life to ease my nerves and to take away the feeling of being by myself. I met so many people during that 26 hour delay. 
It was interesting to watch people go from really angry about the situation – to relaxed and happy the next night…and everyone was so friendly with one another. I met a sweet Jewish family (6 children) –the Father is a Rabbi and they were trying to get to NYC for their son’s wedding. I became friends with a couple who had been traveling around South Africa on safari’s and visiting the Apartheid Museum, and two older African men (both donning Obama hats) who were going to America for a visit! I am so thankful that in the midst of all the chaos – God still cared about all the little things … and He made sure that I had companions along the journey.
I know this was long and there is so much more I probably could say – but I will choose to refrain. I seriously cannot thank you enough for your love and support of my family and me during this time. It has been a tough and really refreshing time for me. I am in the process of posting pictures on my website. www.picasaweb.google.com/darcisimpson (not sure when I will get them all up)!!
On my way to Mozambique right now – will update you when I get the internet again! Love you all! J
