I’ve never been great at goodbyes. In fact, I hate them. I remember when I was really young, I used to cry whenever we would leave from visiting family. And while I don’t cry over goodbyes anymore (or at least not usually) they still tear at my heart. The World Race is hard because it’s a crazy series of hellos and goodbyes.
First I had to say goodbye to my family and friends at home. If anything, this one is the easiest goodbye. And I don’t mean that as a slight against anyone at home, but at least I know I’ll be coming back home again. I don’t get that benefit with most of the people I meet out here. I don’t know which, if any, of these people I will see again in my lifetime.
And with my goodbye to everyone at home came hellos with my squad, a fun group that I get the privilege of spending eleven months with. I won’t even go into the prospect of saying goodbye to them when this is all over. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.
Then it came time to say hello to Pastors Daniel and Mireya and everyone at El Shadai Church in El Salvador. And I had just enough time to fall in love with the people and the ministry they’re doing there when it came time to say goodbye again. Will I be back? I would love to come back, but I really haven’t got a clue.
Then the process repeated itself with our host Logan and the staff and kids at a very special, special-needs orphanage in Guatemala. And the same with the students and teachers at two awesome schools in Honduras (Yes, I even miss the crazy kids from the Mr. Shaggy stories). And again with Scott and Jenn and the entire team from REAP Ministries in Nicaragua.
And now as I write, I sit here on a bus, riding away from yet another set of heart-wrenching goodbyes, this time with an amazing man named Jacques and the incredible team he does ministry with in the Ivory Coast. And as I sit here, I can’t help but ponder. Why doesn’t this ever get easier? By Round Six of goodbyes, shouldn’t I be used to this?
And the answer hits me. I could. I could be used to this. I could stop letting it impact me. I could make this goodbye process easier on myself.
But that would require emotional callousing. Distance. It would require that I hold something back. And that’s not what I set out to do. It’s not what God sent me here to do.
So now I prepare for another set of hellos. A set of hellos that will almost undoubtedly end in more emotional goodbyes. And I’m ready. And I will continue to invest in people to the point where it hurts to say goodbye. Would Jesus do any less? I have to answer that question with a resounding “No.” And the only appropriate response I can think of is “Neither will I.”
It’s difficult, this series of hellos and goodbyes. But the fruit God is bringing from these friendships, and the growth He’s bringing out in me, makes it all so, so worth it.
