I have a weird relationship with preaching. On one hand, I went to Bible College and took courses devoted to public speaking and preaching (and done well in them). I have chosen a career path that I expect will allow me to preach, at least occasionally and possibly regularly. Those who have heard me have told me I’m a pretty good public speaker. And I know enough about the Bible to have something decent to teach.
But on the other hand, I honestly don’t love being in front of people, and especially not speaking to a large group. I’m pretty content to stay away from all the attention and serve in a less conspicuous spot. I’m not very eloquent, and I always struggle with how to phrase the ideas I want to communicate.
I have preached probably 12-15 times in the past six months. Each time I prayerfully consider my topic, write out extensive notes to take with me, and speak to whoever shows up. The more familiar I am with what I want to say, the better. I’m probably my own worst critic, and I am rarely satisfied with myself when I finish. But last time was different in multiple ways.
On one of our last days in Ghana, we held a night crusade in a village where idolatry is extremely common, and few if any people are Christ followers. It was an amazing opportunity.
Originally, I wasn’t supposed to speak that night. But guided by the Holy Spirit, plans changed and about 12 hours before the event, I learned I would be speaking. I had no idea what I would talk about.
About halfway through the day, I was frustrated. I’d scanned through my Bible several times and I just couldn’t find anything that felt right. Finally, the idea came to me that I was making this more complicated than it needed to be. What was needed was a Gospel presentation. I know the Gospel. What more do I actually need?
So an idea began to form in my head. A fairly simple one, but one that I thought had potential. Maybe this would work out after all. I went to grab my notebook to start jotting notes down… And God told me no.
It’s hard to explain the Spirit’s prompting sometimes. There was no audible voice. Not even a voice in my head. But what I did have was a complete lack of peace about writing anything down.
What? Why, God? I need my notes… Don’t I? This is the way I straighten my thoughts out. This is how I make them make sense. I can’t do this without them.
Apparently, He didn’t agree.
So I showed up at the crusade with no notes, and maybe half an idea of what I might say. It was a recipe for disaster if I ever saw one. If God didn’t show up for me, this would quickly become really awkward and messy.
I stood up to speak. Words started flowing out. I was half afraid to listen to what I was saying.
When I did, I heard a very basic explanation of the Gospel mixed with a bit of my own testimony. It was structured. It flowed smoothly. It made sense. It was relevant to their situation. With no notes, I had constant eye contact with the people, who were intently engaged.
In short, God had shown up. He took the jumbled half-topic in my head, and turned it into easily the best message I’ve ever given. In fact I hesitate to say I gave the message, because this was far better than anything I am capable of. No credit to me, all of it to God.
After both of my teammates had also given a short message (Kelley and Taylor both had phenomenal, Holy Spirit-led messages to share as well), it was time to ask for response. Time to see if an impact had really been made.
When the moment came, a full two-thirds of the people who had come to the event came forward to be prayed over, to learn more about God, to express a new faith in Him, and to be discipled.
What do I say to that? How can I respond? Wow seems inadequate. I was overwhelmed, humbled, and on the verge of tears, to be honest. Lives and eternities changed forever. One lady even remarked how much nicer her life would be now that she didn’t need to sacrifice goats to the idols anymore. Incredible.
And again I have to stress, no credit to us, and especially not to me. All glory to the God who can even use our insecurities and inadequacies to change lives.
