Use Your Voice

Some of you know, some of you don’t, but I’m letting yet another cat out of the bag. I love writing spoken words and other poetry. The passion started in an elementary English class and has continued to be a theme in my life. It has been a powerful way that I have connected to and processed with the Lord for years. Hence, my obsession with the book of Psalms.

My senior year of college, during the final project of my youth evangelism course, I stepped out in boldness and shared a spoken word that I had written for the project. That summer I worked at a camp for high school students that was directed by my youth ministry professor, and he challenged me to share the spoken word with the students at camp. That was the first time I had shared any of my work in public. The response I received there was incredibly encouraging and ignited a desire within me to continue sharing. This is when I began to realize that maybe this passion was meant to be used for more than just my communication with the Lord.

Last month, I shared this passion with one of my squad leaders and she encouraged me to use this gift to share with the squad. She gave me one month to prepare a spoken word to share with the squad at our leadership development weekend. So, I wrote two. I prayed through each one, and asked the Lord which one I should share. The Lord clearly said “Neither, I want you to share ‘Dare’ with them. It is what this squad needs to hear.” I struggled because I wanted to share something new, and something that didn’t break so many rules of poetry writing, but the Lord told me otherwise. I firmly believe that these were words ordained by the Lord to share with my squad in this time, just as they were ordained to share with those students at camp last summer. So I stepped out in boldness, accepted the challenge, and used my voice to share the words the Lord placed on my heart. After I presented ‘Dare’ in front of the squad last night, I received several challenges to continue sharing it, so here I am, stepping out in boldness once again and sharing it with all of you. Maybe this is your story, or maybe this is a story of someone you know or someone you will meet in the future. Either way, I encourage you to soak in these words and see what the Lord shows you.

Dare

I keep running

Running away from the destruction

Running toward an escape

Running for a hope of something better

 

But I’m scared

Scared to run straight to your arms

Too afraid of what I’ll find there

Terrified that you’ll beckon me to change

 

Despite the fear,

I look to you

I shout your name

I feel you come for me

 

You take my hand

You lead me into a world unknown

You show me a limitless adventure

You tell me we will do great things

 

But, I let go of You

As the fear overwhelms me

I walk back to my comfort zone

Back to the safety of my fears

 

I am terrified that one day my fears will drown me out,

But also terrified of living differently

Scared of breaking the cycles

Too afraid to believe that your freedom could possibly be for me

 

I believe the lies

Your grace cannot reach this low

I am completely unlovable

I cannot change

I am not worth saving

 

Then, the need to be free surpasses the fear

But I hesitate

I make excuses

I try to change out of my own willpower

I fail

 

As an act of faith,

I try one more time to turn to you

But Your answer is silence

Deafening silence

 

This time, your answer won’t come in words,

Your answer will come through actions

Actions too perfect to be denied

Actions of mercy

Actions of grace

Actions of love

Actions of redemption

 

You reach for me again and again and again

You tell me that your freedom is mine

You say your joy abounds

You say your love is enough

 

I try to turn from my sin

Try to return to you

But I fail

Over, and over, and over, I fail

 

There is still something holding me back

Something I’m too terrified give to you

Something I don’t know how to live without

The fear I could never put to words

 

My heart says that your pursuit is relentless

And your grace is perfect in my weakness

My heart says that you are my Father

That you chose to create me

And you choose to love me

And now I must choose to trust you

 

So with my last shred of strength

I sprint straight to you

As my faithful Father,

You wrap me in your embrace

You catch my broken pieces as I finally let go

 

I completely fall apart

And piece by piece, by piece, by piece

You mend me with your grace

You lead me down the path again

Back into the world unknown

This time, I hold firmly to your grip

 

This time, I refuse let go

I will dare to live in your freedom

I will dare to embrace your adventure

I will dare to trust you

I will dare. to. change.

 

Thank you all for reading and for your continued support. I would love to hear you responses in the comments!

*Fundraising update: I still need help to stay on the field. I need to raise my final $3,882 by April 30th! Thank you all for your continued support!*