I didn’t plan on starting my blog until I was on the field, but what better time than now. I thought my journey began once I was traveling but I have come to discover it began the moment I was introduced to the World Race. Fundraising over $16,000 seems to be one of the biggest challenges I have ever been faced with. Right now it seems harder than going to college and working full time. I recently took a self reflection assessment which forced me to open my eyes. The truth is we all have blind sides and need feedback from the people around us. Sometimes we need others to help us see and clear our vision to God’s truth. The assessment showed my belief is my strongest aspect. Normally I would agree with that, however right now that came as a big surprise. You would think preparing for an 11 month mission trip your faith would be stronger than ever however right now my faith is being tested more than ever before. For the first time I am truly having to release control and take the passenger seat in my life. When people ask me how my fundraising is going, I sadly admit it is nowhere near comforting. I try and stay positive and say if it is God’s will, it will be and tell them the Lord will provide for my every need. Although my words may speak belief, I am doubtful. I want to believe and trust in God to provide for my every need but I can’t help but feel fear. My passion and life mission is to help those in need, I desire more than anything to have God’s love shine through me and share his mercy and grace with others. When I think about the World Race I am immediately covered in goose bumps, but I must admit when I hear the incredible fundraising stories of my team members I am filled with joy but also with fear. With the first fundraising deadline approaching just around the corner and me being nowhere near close to reaching it, I wonder if this is really my calling. I have been doing the same things as my fellow team members, I have sent out support letters. I planned a car wash and it was rained out, was that a sign or just bad luck? I don’t sleep at night because all I can do is think about ways to fundraise. I have been told several times recently that I have a heart to serve. My assessment revealed that my strongest trait is my belief, but now it is being pushed outside of its comfort zone. My battle does not begin on the field it begins now. I know God has my back so now it is time for me to truly lay my life down and release control to the Lord; it is time to believe!
