“In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.” – Elizabeth Gilbert
I have a confession. I have been daydreaming about writing this exact blog post for almost a year. I didn’t know if I would ever get the chance, but I sure prayed a lot for this day. However, now that I get to make this announcement, I can’t seem to find the words to accurately describe my heart right now. So I’ll just spit it out. I. Am. Fully. Funded. Let me repeat that: I have raised all $16,971 needed for the World Race!!!!!
As excited and overwhelmed and humbled as I am, I have to dive into the feelings behind being fully funded to help you understand the real depth of this moment.
Fundraising was my biggest fear. In fact, it was the sole reason I wasn’t going to apply to the World Race. How do I go about raising $17,000? Why would people donate their hard-earned money to me? Will people listen to my story? Will people show up to my fundraising events? I don’t want to be seen as nagging, or begging, or not self-sufficient. The devil is very good at repeating the lies that we tell ourselves when we need to get vulnerable.
If you read between the lines, you’ll see that those fears boiled down to a TRUST issue…a HEART issue. I never wanted to be too excited or set on going on the World Race. I never wanted to be too expectant for the funds to show up, for fear of being rejected and disappointed.
This was an opportunity to step into the uncomfortable and rely on God to provide. And let me be honest with you – I can’t say I always handled myself with grace and confidence through this process. I complained about fundraising. I hid from it. I wasn’t always bold to put myself out there and share my story. I had feelings of doubt. And yet He was and is always faithful.
Through this whole process, the Lord has been showing me that this fundraising is so much bigger than me. It is just so clear how the Lord had His hand in this whole process and I am in awe of how He has worked on my behalf. This place of dependence on His timing and provision has been such a learning experience and full of emotions watching God show up over and over again. He has whispered to me, “This will not be on your timing. This will not be because of the effort you put into it. Learn to trust me with your whole heart. Not for half of the fundraising. For all of the fundraising. I will take care of you.”
So, even though I could go on and on about the things I have learned through this process, there are no words to capture the emotion and gratitude behind my thank you. Thank you for your generous, sacrificial donations. You have been faithful stewards of the goods and gifts that the Lord has provided. Thank you for the words of encouragement through the whole fundraising process. You have shown me the love of Christ through your words and actions and reminded me that He is faithful. Thank you for making this dream of serving overseas a reality. The Lord is moving and He is going to do some mighty things in the next year.
I leave in 10 DAYS for the Race! This is a sweet time of visiting with friends and family before I leave, but also a tough couple of weeks filled with goodbyes and tying up loose ends. Please pray for my team as we prepare physically, mentally, and spiritually for India in 2 weeks.
