Before starting the month of June, my goal for the first two weeks was to dive into what it meant to fully receive God's love. Yeah I knew God loved me, and cared for me, and comforted me in times of need, but I just felt like I needed to feel more.
But the funny thing about receiving love from God, is that you need to be open to receiving it, and really truly believing you deserve it. For the past year I know I've said countless times that God loves me, but did I believe it deep in my heart?
We're taught growing up in Sunday School that God loves us and always will. That there's nothing that could turn God away from us. And until about a year ago, I'm not sure I was confident in that statement. And it wasn't until debrief in Malaysia at the end of May when I realized I was equating God's love with humanly love. NOT THE SAME.
While talking this huge incorrect statement out with a squad leader, I realized the three or so years previous to the Race I had closed my heart off from receiving love. I had built up walls to keep people from getting close so I couldn't get hurt. But these massive walls I had built had also been keeping me from really receiving God's amazing, unfailing love. And that's just too good of a thing to keep out of my heart.
So the month in Cambodia started, and I was committed to diving into what it meant to receive and accept God's true love. But in turn, I also felt what it's like to be truly in love with God. When you are completely in love with someone, you can't stop thinking about them, or the next time you'll be able to talk or see them next. Shouldn't our relationship with God be the same, if not more? God longs for us everyday. Do we do the same for Him? Are we truly head over heels in love with God?
The answer to all these questions SHOULD be yes, because nothing should concern us more than our relationship with God and constantly pursuing His unfailing love. God doesn't need us, but yet He still wants us. And unfortunately for a lot of us, we desperately need God but don't really want Him most of the time.
One verse that I've been leaning on since the beginning of June is Ephesians 3:17-19:
“so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray
that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power,
together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long
and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that
surpasses knowledge- that you many be filled to the measure of
all the fullness of God.”
To me truly loving God means constantly thanking Him for everything that happens everyday. Nothing about our lives surprises God. He's carefully planned out everything for us and walked through those things before we even knew they would happen. And having a stronger, deeper feeling of God's love in my heart means I can pour out even stronger and deeper into those around me.
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” -John 15:9
