As I sang and prayed for Q squad on our first night of debrief, I had a real, straightforward thought enter into my head…
I never asked for this life.
Some have prayed and asked to be missionaries since they were little kids. Some have had years of discipleship under their belts. And some knew years in advance that the World Race was something that God laid on their hearts.
I can’t check “yes” to any of the above statements.
I like to think I took the fast track to the life I live now. I recommitted my life to the Lord three years ago. Went on the race two years ago. Spent six months at a discipleship school just last year. And now I find myself two months into squad leading.
It’s been a crazy whirlwind of a life but I wouldn’t have it any other way. In each new season of life I ask God what I should do next and he usually responds with, “Well, what do you want to do?”
I’ve always had a passion for interior design and planning events and I keep wondering why God gave me those passions and talents if I haven’t been able to fully use them yet. But one thing I can understand is that every time I enter a new season of life, I lay my desires for a “normal” job in design before the Lord.
Every time I’ve told him how much I love design but that I’m willing to give it up to follow Him. And every time He’s led me into something better than I could have ever imagined.
If someone would have told me three years ago that I would be currently sitting in Nepal leading a squad of 51 with the World Race, I would have never believed them. And the fact that I went from being in one foreign country to seventeen in a matter of 2 ½ years could only be possible with God.
You see, I’m not mad at God for giving me this life I never asked for. I am beyond blessed. God believed in me and started preparing me for these various seasons of my life long before I could actually admit that God knew best for my life. He saw potential in me before I ever saw it in myself.
Me realizing that I never asked for this life, led me to a revelation that God gives us most times what we NEED, not what we WANT. Yes, God gives us the desires of our hearts, but I believe He also likes to surprise us with things we never thought we were capable of doing. God gives the greatest gifts and I am eternally grateful.
