How does one even start to process training camp? Some might like to journal, or talk it out with close friends or family. I find I do my best processing just laying in silence in my room by myself. Scientific, I know.
But as I begun to look back on the past events of the week, I felt like the week flew by so quickly that I kept having brain lapses as to what really happened while we were there.
Did I really finally meet all 50+ members of the amazing M squad?
Did I really get rocked by what I thought my relationship with God was versus what I know it is now?
Did I really knock down all the walls I had put God in and see him in a new and beautiful light?
Did I really bare hand daddy long leggers like it was my job and chuck them into the woods time and time again?
yes. Yes. YES. and YES!
I have to say I was quite overwhelmed at first with meeting my squad. People close to me know I can be kinda shy at first. But multiply that by 50 and I was quite out of my comfort zone. I was absolutely blown away though by everyone's kindness and amazing hearts. If someone asked for an extra sweatshirt, or for some Advil, there were at least 5 people by their side in seconds offering assistance.
And I knew I was going to be challenged everyday at camp. But what I didn't expect, is that the person I was being challenged by the most everyday, was MYSELF. I thought I had it all together. Had it all figured out.
But the person I thought I was satisfied being through Christ, was not who I wanted to be anymore. What I thought worship should consist of was not what I wanted it to be anymore. What I thought I knew through my prior teachings was not enough anymore.
Just when I thought I was starting to piece some things together, training camp was over! Wait! I'm not ready yet! You can't send me out in the world to spread the good news yet!
But we're never completely ready. And the sooner I realized that, the sooner I could let go of the things I thought I needed to know before leaving on this amazing journey to come. We don't need to have all the answers, because God already has everything figured out for us. We just have to be willing to let go of the reigns and give everything to him.
I'm so excited that training camp is only the beginning. Everything is starting to feel that much more real now. And to say I'm excited to see how much I grow in my faith and learn next year is an understatement.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5, 6 NIV)
